NIME KACH-MEGA 'feelings'

It began the other Thursdae at San Valencia resto n bar in tao, where I met up jioni (six o clock) with old amigo n now editor Michael Owuor. He was in a nice suit which I told him he wore coz he never been to a classy place like Valencia.

He lipishad me by buying vodoski 4 me but warned me that ‘it might be sensitive to intestines that are mostly used to cham.’ Touché.

Later I went for Onditi’s exhibition n chatted happily with Goethe’s ever-so-sunny director, Doctor Nina, my ole writing pal Andia Kisia, her pal from Amerika Johana n then left with thespian Telly Savalas, Carey F Ronje n his creative brat pal to find a joint to chapa storos @ before my Fly 540 dawn flight.

Garden Square waz closed (How? Kwani Death has taken a vacation in September), Winkers’ @ Kenya cinema is being bomolewad ka F1, so we crossed the road to Tom Mboya to this dingy up-storey pub called ‘Wallet’ or ‘Millenium,’ n chapad vodoski till near five.

Time to taxi it to the airport, n meet up with fellow PEN pals Khainga Okembwa, Flora Njagi, Jacob Oketch n KBC’s Jared Ombui. We were s’posed to fly with kraaayyy Kingwa Kamenchu but she went AWOL on us like a lost underwear. Writer Stan Gazemba, meantime, had freaked out on flying n told us he wud kuja on a country bus/ shuttle/boda.

The Fly 540 flight to Othumo was uneventful (slept all the way). We landed, patad our big moti that waz taking us to Kachmega, n lalad salama all the way there too.

We got to our Kachmega Golf Hotel n waz welcomed by a very friendly Monica at the front desk, n ferried to room by cool Jose ‘Ukuku,’ where I swatched all the day till jioz (sio tsetse fly na sleeping sickness, ni kuwa awake day before for twenty six hours, mfululizo).

Sato, tho, the Smitta woke up fresh as a daisy, joined the urbane n tres cool prof Chris Wanjala 4 breakfast, then after ketching up with the morning papers, dashed to Musingu high school where PEN waz holding a creative writing workshop for six schools.

The prinsi of Musingu Alivas Eliphas is an easy guy who karibishad us to his offy for intros, then later to his hao 4 lunch. In between I met Frank, head of the Kenya Non Fiction writers n together with Stan Gazemba whose shuttle had finally arrived, talked about stuff like short stories n essays to the studentz.

Sunset n we hadta dash back to our hotel Golf to catch the Chelsea versus Swansea game, where Diego Costa shewed Swansea exac-three who the league leaders are thru his hat-trick, but staki kuenda territory ya banter hapa.

The mushene waz this waiter there called Mark with his bulk trying to control the remote n kiss a** with some zoongs lady guest (who couldn’t care less). Quite frankly, I donno watt Mark with his ATT is doing in a classy Kachmega hotel like Golf! He shud pack his viragos, buy a flash-light n rain-coat, then catch the ‘Kachmega Express’ to Nai atafute kazi ya watchie.

Twas the same day that Regina Mutoko, who we grew up wit around ‘Our Lady’ in South B, telezad in the bath-tub n died. So, so sad a freak accident. To my pal Carol Mutoko, I know the uchungu of losing a younger sibling, n I hope yu n yur ole lady find strength in this trying tyme. (As 4 a certain Essie n her hubby Queasy Timber-d**k who fixed his toi in the name of demon exorcism, banged the kid’s head on the wall, then bathed him in freezing maji, leavin him to die cold n alone, I hope the courts swing ‘em a half century sentence to split between ‘em, n that the ET called QT finds out what men@work in the ‘land-down-under’ really means).

Oh, yeah, in the shower, ET QT will hear, ‘We come for yur land down under, where fear does flow and men will chunder/ Can’t you hear, can’t you hear the thunder, you better run, you better take cover ...’

Sunday, said our farewells to the likes of lovely lady Cynthia of Golf Hotel who makes the establishment proud, n after anutha Musingu session, tooK the Kachmega-Kisumu road ride in Masinde Muliro lecturer Chris Wasike’s RAV 4. How did we know we had left Kachmega n entered Othumo? I swear the ‘sop’ signs stopped reading bar, hotel, hardware n kiosk, n began to be ‘Fresh-Water Cowboys’ Saloon,’ Hillside Resort, Tina Solutions n Mama Sara Obama Tea Stop. Watt iss?