Bash: Slaughtering Karen Blixen

[photo: File]

No, we did not go cannibal this weekend in Karen.

But we met up with cool snapper chap Davie Gichuru (after one Klein Kalonzo had guided the Sharonova by fone out of the cul de sac of the Dep prezzo’s residence) n pamoja with Jerry Cecil, we entered Choma Blix.

The first person we saw was ole pal Mike Slaughter, owner of the Hot Rod band and now in the clutch of crutches, following an accident the night afore after taking the band to perform at the neat hotel Kempinsky on da Westy barabara.

Then we met lady Jackie n a dude called Kamangu Mwas, a pal of the pachyderm lady Pauline Kahumbu, n talked Tuskers (beer) and tuskers (elephants).

We can talk till we are as old as an elephant’s memory, but until we get a Kipngetich ATT in kws n the whole country, stop poaching ivory n selling it to the darn Chinese, old tuskers like the great Satao are gonna keep getting slaughtered – Saturday thru Friday, woe!

Here, we take a muzik break n sing Eminem’s wimbo –

“But I do know one thing, yo, bi***es they come, they go/ Friday thru Saturday, Sunday, Sunday thru Monday, yo/ Maybe I will sumday love you, maybe we’ll sumday grow/ Till then just sit yur drunk a** on that runway, ho!”

A nice rooj song, but I’ll cum to rooj issues in a seo.

Okay (one second). Turns out there is an elephant gig layter on this mwaka down at the ‘Sun n Sand.’ But a cultural n rooj fest – thanx to EABL, Coke, Airtel n Nakumatt- @ Watamu coming week Wednesday thru Sunday.

And at hotel rates ranging per peep from just three k at Garroda’s resort, to six seven at Turtle Bay n Hemingway’s, thaz the place to be, even for me.

From elephants n back to goats, I enjoyed the roast nyake at the Blix quite a bit, met ole pals like Stella ‘Lemonade’ Ondimu (who enjoyed me ‘these days yu drink@ Karen?’) n even spied Tuju’s dot’e in tha vicinity.

(News flash as I write this – Linda Okello, the dendaid cop, may be paid out of koti by the cop shop for disciplining her over her tight skirt. Maybe Sidika is right, n butt is now BIG bizness in Kenya. N Ndoch complainin).

After Choma Blix, me n Davie now ditched our ‘Clearly Ash’ ride for my BFF Mart Oduor n a taxi to Embakasi for illustrator’s Kenny Kaburu’s rooftop birthday bash.

And, boy, wazn’t it hilarious!

I met the domestic chieftain of the kitchen, Makena, n long tyme FB pal Mutuiri T Gitonga as well as his cuzo Martin the Menacing. The hawt chickas like Anita wa Micheni n her ole flower power pal Flora were a-plenty.

But the booze, not, running out after a while. Clearly, summa my Meru relas dnt unnerstand the concept of a BYOB, and have to be ‘punched’ drunk to click the concepto.

@ some point I hadta send ole pal Sir Elvis n Co for more vodo, but the deejay willy waz on point, jazzing Pulsers like Anjellah Owino (and I unnerstand BDay boy Stevo Muendo made a show up a lil later, as had Willy n the elusive Mercyline Ammoit).

Marketer Jewel Kendi, my buddy Martin n myself hepad usiku wa manane (we needed lift from golden jewel) n she dropped us off at Blue Flame to continue wakaing, in dat pub in South B dat is the true ‘House of the Rising Sun.’