Worried that I can't find a partner

Worried that I can't find a partner (Photo: iStock)

I am still single and getting worried. To begin with, I stayed single by choice, and it worked for me. But now I want to start a family and can’t find a partner! What’s wrong?

Still Single

Chris says,

Hi Still Single!

Relax. You are part of a global trend. As women become more educated, they spend more of their lives on their own. But why haven’t you found a partner now you want one?

Maybe you’re just too busy. If you want to get married, you will have to change your priorities. Work on your time management. Or even consider a career change that allows you more flexibility.

Maybe you value your independence too much. Relationships require all sorts of compromises, from where you go on a date, to where you live and work. If that’s difficult, then that’s why you are still single.

Maybe you think about meeting somebody special, but then don’t behave in ways that make that possible! So dress to emphasise your gender. Make eye contact and smile lots, showing genuine interest in everyone you meet.

Ask them about themselves as if you’re networking, including: "And where does your wife work?" Getting people talking about themselves means you learn all about their availability, background, work, what they like doing and so on.

In fact, up your whole social game. It’s all too easy to let each day slip by on autopilot. Instead, have more fun, do things you love doing, and make sure you meet lots of new people.

Don’t chase anyone. If he needs to be chased, then you don’t need him. Make sure that every man who shows interest in you is the sort of partner you want. And don’t compromise just because they’re charming or successful.

Be honest with potential partners. And expect them to do the same with you. Quickly drop anyone who feels even slightly flakey, and don’t give up! Because before you know it you will find yourself with someone where everything between the two of you is working. There’s someone out there who’s just right for you, and you will find him!

All the best,

Chris