A man comes into a woman's life for one of these five reasons

1. For intimacy

This man will be sexual from the get go. He will ask for photos and videos as he progresses into nudes. He will be quick to say "I love you" to make the woman bring down her walls. He will brag about the size of his manhood and tell you how great he is at licking a woman. He does this to make you aroused and curious.

His focus will be on her physical features. He will not commit to a relationship but even if he does, he will want it to remain private. He will flirt with other women, liking women's photos and commenting suggestively seeing no wrong in that.

He will often remember you at night or over the weekends and almost all dates will be at his house or yours or if married/taken, in a hotel. After the sex, he will not be as enthusiastic about speaking with you until he gets horny again.

If you deny him sex, he will question whether you love him, call you a prostitute, label you "A holy Mary", mock you about refusing to have sex yet you are a single mother, emotionally arm twist you by saying that with your standards you will never get a husband or he will get another woman to make you feel jealous.

2. For money
This man will paint for you big dreams but never seems to have the money. He will be secretive. You might not know where he stays or what he does but he will want to know a lot about you especially where you live, where you work, how much you earn and who are your parents.

He will tend to be good at Bible verses and ministry ideas. He will remember you most when he needs money. He will be asking for money incrementally; he starts with a small amount as he increases.

He will add no value to your life other than praising how good you look and he will ask to have sex with you. The sex is a bait to trap you because he knows once you have sex with him you will be emotionally, mentally, spiritually connected to him making it easy for you to give him your money.

This man is extra cosy with women online liking and commenting and inboxing them. Be sure you are not the only one he is sexing and getting money from.

3. For mentorship
This man comes into your life with an assignment to build you. He will demand nothing from you but your growth. He will not spend much time talking with you but when he does, he will uplift you, rebuke you with love, challenge you and correct you. In fact, you will run to him for advice often and he will speak life and wisdom into you then give you space till the next time you need his counsel or he is checking up on you.

He is an ally to your destiny. He is an authority figure; your mentor, your counsellor, your pastor or your professional senior. The few but powerful words he speaks will have a great impact in your life and future. You will want to bless him and pray for him because of how much he influences you.

4. For friendship 
This could be a man who is single, taken or married but wants nothing romantic with you. He just wants pure friendship.

He looks out for you, will give you a heads up on opportunities. Will correct you, make jokes with you, remember your birthdays, be happy for you when you find love, support you and cheer you on.

He will be like a brother from another mother. There will be boundaries between you two, you may not talk everyday but he wants the best for you. Sometimes this friendship is seasonal, a time comes when you two don't talk that much but it is not like you are enemies.

5. For long term love
This man will see a wife in you and he will want to have all of you for life. He will first build a foundation of friendship with you but he will make it clear he is thinking marriage.

He will study you, especially the inner you while other men focus largely on your physical beauty. He will want to know your dreams, vision, past, childhood, family, fears and scars. He will seek to understand you. He will water you like Christ waters the Church. He will not be so quick to say "I love you" because he knows the weight of those words. He will respect you.

He will not entertain other women and if you are uncomfortable about any woman or anything he does, he will not justify things but he will listen and do things to make you secure. He will fall in love with you every day and grow that love daily.

He will mark his territory and ask you to be his woman. He will love you online and offline because he is proud of loving you. He will not only introduce you to his family and friends but he will want you to build a good relationship with them.

He will love to go out with you in public where everyone can see he has an amazing Queen. He will be protective of you and will articulate a vision of a future with you and take steps to make it come true. You will see effort in him even when he earns little or less than you. He will be accountable and will give you the authority to sharpen him. You will see that he needs you. He will make you feel secure and will talk to you anytime of the day. He will not play games.

You will have no doubt that he loves you. His love will be a fact, not an assumption.

© Dayan Masinde

In my new book, MANHOOD SERIES, I talk about the benefits of a man loving his woman and how it starts by the man loving himself. I talk about the responsibilities of a man to God, to himself, his family and society. Men are capable of loving.

In my other book, WOMANHOOD SERIES, I talk about how a woman can make wise relationship choices, how to inspire love in a man and how a woman carries so many blessings for herself and her man.

To purchase the MANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word MAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.

To purchase the WOMANHOOD SERIES written by Dayan Masinde, MPESA Ksh. 200 to 0721590954, then text the word WOMAN and your email address to the same number and the book will be sent to your email address for you to download and read on your phone or computer.