LADIES: How commercialising bride price degrades women

I agree with the Catholic Archbishop John Cardinal Njue who recently raised the matter of unreasonable pride price demands by some parents.

He cautioned parents against asking for too much for their daughters and said this was a major hindrance for young people who wish to get married. It is so sad that bride price has been commercialised and lost its very essence as a result. In some societies, the girls are seen as a source of wealth through bride price.

This has negatively affected the institution of marriage. The questions are; should people continue paying bride price today? Do the reasons people paid bride price still exist today? Does bride price still have a role in fostering happy relationships that eventually contribute to growth of the institution of marriage?

Bride price was important in the past as an African custom. In the old days, bride price was a key part of marriage and the amount to be paid was determined by each community and varied depending on individual families. Secondly, it helped to create stability in marriage.

This prevented the woman from running away or going back to her parents. It was also a form of commitment to the marriage on the man’s part. It also showed the man was able to take care of his wife and children and gave the woman a sense of value. The Bible also supports the payment of bride price. When Jacob was about to get married, he was made to work for seven years before he could marry Rachel.

I am convinced the same reasons are still being applied today. But the main problem is we have conceptualised bride pride as a source of wealth. This has had adverse consequences on the institution of marriage and also degraded women and, in some cases, even reduced them to slaves or mere objects. In some communities, parents demand up to Sh1 million in bride price for a university graduate, leaving the man feeling exploited. He also feels like he owns the woman, which dehumanises her.

No amount of money can buy a wife; she is priceless. As such, society must view bride price as a token of appreciation to the girl’s family. It is a symbol of appreciation for the work of raising the woman from childhood. That is why it is important for society to stop looking at bride price as an opportunity to get richer or escape poverty.