When Karma takes too long, give it a little push, finger your ex

So your ex did you dirty. Your former lover, best friend and partner, with whom you swore to brave the winter, and who was the first person you took home that your father did not threaten to strangle, turned out not to be the angel you thought they were. Everyone has that ex who came straight from hell. On our good days, we wish them nothing but pain, KRA penalties and anal warts.

And on our bad days, we wish them a long, drawn-out death, possibly at the hands of an angry, horny lion. But because we are human after all, we split the difference and commit them to that strange and mighty deity known as karma. Karma will get them, we say, to calm our spirit. They will get theirs. Maybe not today. Maybe not in five years. Maybe not in this lifetime. But karma will cash that cheque in at one point or another, and they will rue the day they treated you like a doormat. It would be a good thing if this shoulder shrug indicated a surrendering of negative emotions in favour of a more zen life. If it was an acknowledgement of things beyond our control, a washing of one’s hands, as it were. Like refusing to share mental space with the person who terrorised your heart on principle. In reality, though, the thinking is pegged on a misguided reliance on the moral judgment of the universe. We have a way of centring ourselves in the random happenings of the cosmos.