To real fathers out there: Be actively involved, visit your kids in school

Our society badly needs real ‘dads on duty’ for posterity

Today, I want to talk about a programme in the United States, which is referred to as Dads on Duty. The programme started when some parents got the idea from a story in Louisiana where in the beginning of a school year, there was chaos and discipline issues that resulted in suspensions. 

When the dads started working in the school by volunteering to welcome the students in the beginning of the day by giving them inspiration, standing in the hallways and assuring them of security, the indiscipline cases declined remarkably.

This helps them achieve their goal by being a support system for kids. Since it is dads, it gives a positive male influence (mentoring), especially to the kids who are from single mother families or families where the dads don’t participate a lot in the upbringing of their children.

I have just seen a post on social media where a girl lacked fees and decided to look for the dad whom the mother said worked as a civil servant. On reaching there, the employer asked for proof, which is the name of the father in the birth certificate. The name was not in the girl’s birth certificate so she left empty handed. I read the comments and some ladies said it is difficult to apply for a birth certificate without a copy of the father’s ID.

I am not sure but my point here is to the ladies. No matter the problems you may have with your baby daddy, always have his presence in your child’s life as it can be useful for future reference. Many single mums tend to remove that privilege from their sons. Some of the boys turn out to be OK but others are sent into total confusion.

I will not blame single mums as some really try. Unfortunately, we also have many deadbeat fathers. What I fail to understand is how a man cannot support his own blood. In African society, children used to belong to the society. That is why even kids born outside marriage were all embraced. No child should be brought into this world to suffer. If you think you can’t give a child quality life, kindly don’t start the process of manufacturing or take steps to prevent the conception.

A dad is a very important part in a child’s upbringing. When we were growing up, it was normal to be punished by your mum but when the matter was taken to your dad, it brought a lot of chills. One would cry on calling their mums because they knew that daddy was the bad cop. Even in our court Kapsiliat in Buru Phase 2, we used to fear our friends’ dads and listened to every good advice they offered.

I have said here before that if it weren’t for my friend’s father, the late Mr Kirori, I would not have learnt how to slaughter and prepare a goat. He used to call all the boys and teach us the basics when he slaughtered one. He also taught us the traditions. Mr Okumu, our neighbour, went out of his way to buy us footballs so that we didn’t go play around Buru Shoppy, as he knew if we were exposed to a shopping centre in early years, we would pick funny behaviour.

There was Baba Ochi who taught us how to be neat, dress well and use expensive cologne. Mr. Onchiri always insisted on studying and learning by heart things like multiple tables, periodic tables of elements and other theories of learning. Without forgetting my dad and mentor from whom I learnt a lot about discipline in life, sacrifice, economics of life and hard work.

My plea to dads is, kindly be part of your children’s lives from home to school. Let us be visiting our children’s schools and offer mentorship also to those who are not privileged to have active dads in their lives. Try offering advice to kids when you have a chance and that way we shall be bringing up a better generation.