The 'Tinder Swindler' is a lesson to Kenyans to stop being vulnerable with strangers online

This past week, nearly everyone was talking about the Tinder Swindler documentary. I have not watched it and have no plan to do so since the script is all too familiar. I know such experiences like the back of my hand. I have not swindled but I have heard similar stories in Kenya, some of them from the horses’ mouths.  They are similar to what I have written here before when advising the boy child who has also suffered from female swindlers on and off social media.

Boy child get requests to send fare to strangers whom they have never met or even send money not knowing sometimes they send to fellow men who have used a beautiful picture of a lady as their profile. Many have suffered, especially on dating sites.

What I usually advise them is that when the deal is too good then it is a trap. It is the same way when you go to a bar and ladies approach you then be careful, as you are not the most handsome person in that club. So when you accept a friend request from a lady on social media and then she asks for lunch or help please unfriend as soon as possible. You will not lose anything.

Social media is a devil and I have always said that one has to start training their children on the dangers that lurk on those sites. I watch a TV programme called Crime Investigations and I enjoy stories that are based on web lies. It shows how young people, especially girls, who have been lied to by older men on the web are taken advantage of and some even end up being murdered.

I was discussing the same with my fellow actor Sanaipei Tande that a Kenyan producer should do the same in Kenya to help people know about the tricks swindlers use, especially our West African brothers. I have West African friends who actually tell me the problem with Kenyan men is that most of them are sincere. He tells me that when they meet with ladies online, they first tell them what they want to hear. Lie to them how they are rich and would change their lives. They post pictures of fancy places, vehicles etc. as it is all about perception. When they meet with the ladies for the first time they make sure they give them crazy amounts of money like Sh30,000 for lunch or Sh50,000 for the salon.

What they don’t realise is that this is a group of people who invest their money, which will be refunded with a profit when the lady has been conned. That is when they send the smoothest of them all i.e. tall and handsome. As soon as the targeted lady is comfortable, stories of delayed payment etc. begin and some ladies even take a loan to help and that is when the game comes to an end.

The lady only realises when the Safaricom lady answers “mteja wa nambari unayopiga hapatikani kwa sasa”. I know of a lady who actually took a bank loan of Sh1.5 million as she was a banker and every month when it is being deducted from her salary it brings back the memories.

My West African friend tells me they only lie and that way they are cooked for, fed, offered sex and paid by our Kenyan ladies. The same thing happens with some Europeans. If you check the German dating site, they advise men who want to go for holiday in Kenya to just befriend a lady online and promise her heaven on earth. That opens doors for them when they come for the holidays as they get free accommodation and sex then give the lady something like US$200 with a promise to return soon.

Parents please teach your children, especially girls, that when the deal is too good think twice. And that there is nothing like free lunch from a stranger - it is a trap.

 

— [email protected];@AineaOJiambo