As the basic building block of any society, the family was in the past considered the ultimate goal of life. At some point, one was expected to form a family and start the journey of procreation to ensure continuity of the family lineage and name. It was taken very seriously.
Girls were married a lot earlier than men to ensure that they exploited the window of reproduction to the maximum.
Women of the generation of our grandmothers ended up with an average of 13 children in their reproductive lives this notwithstanding their happiness or dissatisfaction in the said marriage.
Marriage was considered sacred by society and the then gods. It was built to last a lifetime even if it caused only sadness and pregnancy. In contrast, today women have an average of only two children in their lifetime.
Then modern religion came and only served to reinforce the concept of the lifelong definition of a marital union. But a lot of winds of change have been crisscrossing the space causing a lot of debate on all social facets.
We, therefore, ended up in the twenty-first century with a diverse fabric that not only prides in freedom and courage but also is still firmly under the grip of various religious doctrines that primarily advocate for the permanency of marriage.
The church has come up with premarital programmes where would-be couples are prepared for the big leap before they say I do.
While Christianity ties one man to one woman, Islam on the other hand offers the man freedom to expand his territory should he feel endowed enough to take care of more females in his flock.
The fact is both religions hope that once bonded as one man and woman, the union should go all the way till death do them part.
The winds from the West however came with the excitement of more freedom and stirred waters massively from the bottom causing aspects of society hitherto assumed to come to the surface.
The law gave marriage a new definition moving it away from its natural heterosexual face to a number of possible variants. Same-sex marriages have emerged and now men happily can marry men and women can marry women and come out openly to proclaim their union.
Modern science has also offered the platform for sex transformation for those unhappy with their natural gonads which are also being fast embraced.
Freedom rights activists have created space for happiness to take centre stage and dictate whether these unions survive or not.
There is enough legal exploration for persons that opt to exit a marriage for as long as their reasons are considered valid.
We have therefore ended up trapped in a murky centre where religion and freedom conflict in ways that redefine marriage and therefore the society at large.
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Old school parents are forced to swallow some very bitter pills as they adjust to these new possibilities.
For example, a top clergyman whose daughter also ascends to the helm of the church traumatically discovers that her daughter has been suspended because she has opted to marry a fellow woman.
While they wonder why God has forsaken them and put them to shame, they cannot divorce their parental love to that child and each time the court is called they accompany their child to the hearing to accord them support in a case aimed at not only recognising their choice as a fundamental right but also reinstating them to lead the church and offer godly direction to the flock albeit with advanced values.
A man of God who is suspended from church for divorcing his wife also ends up suing the church and winning a suit in which a directive is issued to reinstate them to the executive of the clergy.
The conflict is deep and the confusion is massive because the winds of change are rampant and the values of religion are now forced to flex to accommodate certain changes yet for decades nothing has been known to subdue masses as much as religion does.