Father Stephen Kyalo: Depressed priest sought solace in alcohol and drugs

Father Stephen Kyalo, 42, the Makueni priest who died by suicide in a Kilala market lodging, Makueni County has been eulogised as a humble, but withdrawn priest who lived by abusing drugs after suffering severe depression for many years. Father Kyalo’s lifeless body was discovered lying in a lodging bed on Sunday evening with a bottle of alcohol and two empty glasses on the table.

“On that Sunday morning, the client bought the wine from the counter and booked a room at Sh1000. But it became suspicious late in the evening when he failed to come out. The hotel management had to call the police who discovered the body,” Makueni police commander Joseph Ole Napeiyan said in her report.

It would later be revealed that the body of the man in question was of a priest who was serving at Makueni parish. During a requiem mass at his parents’ home in Ngongwe village, Kako in Mbooni East, his older brother, Francis Nzyoki, also a priest, painted a picture of a  man who has been living a life of depression, and had turned into heavy drinking as a result; a condition he fought in vain for the many years he served as a priest.

“We loved him as our last born in a family of 8. When I started my priesthood journey in 2001, he also said he had a calling to the service and he followed me in 2002. But after his studies, things changed and he even contemplated leaving the priesthood,” Nzyoki said.

Fr Kyalo started his spiritual journey at Molo Seminary before proceeding to Mabanga for philosophical studies, winding up at Tindinyo School of Theology. Nzyoki said his brother was posted at Kaumoni Parish, but after a few years, he started drinking heavily. Nzyoki says he pleaded with Kyalo to seek a transfer and get into rehab.

“We sat down with him and he told me he was not comfortable working in Kaumoni and wanted a transfer. He was moved to Tulimani parish in Mbooni West, but after some time, his former self emerged. He became a lonely man, started drinking again, stressed. He asked if he could be assisted in counseling and be taken to a better place for treatment,” he added

The family spokesperson disclosed that his brother told him that his ship in priesthood was staggering and it was at that time they decided to take him to a habitation centre in Kiambu County.

“Two years ago, he called us and told us his life had changed completely and he didn’t think he would be the same again. We took him to rehab for treatment and counseling sessions since he seemed to be living in denial. At Kiambu, a medic told us that our brother was an introvert, with severe depression and he needed assistance throughout his life,” he added

After six months, he was discharged and posted to Masii Parish, in Machakos County, where he served for a few months before relapsing.

“His condition worsened. He used to retreat from fellow priests and would stay even up to three days without interacting with others. The situation continued to worsen and in 2021, he went to the diocese headquarters and asked to be excused from administering so that he can do soul searching on what was happening to him,” Nzyoki said.

He proceeded home where he continued to live a lonely life.

“He was very secretive even at home. It was until the tail end of last year that the Father in charge, Makueni Parish took him into the parish centre and started working with him while monitoring his situation,” he added

Father Nzyoki said mental health problems pressed his brother to take his own life, saying just like other professions, priests too have a life, and they are also faced with challenges that need intervention.

He called on the public to change how they view priests. The Makueni head of priests, Father Paul Munguti explained that they never expected Kyalo to die by suicide when they left him in the house that Sunday and went to administer masses.

“He was weak, but he helped many. He had even started some development in the church where he had planned to do dairy farming, but I told him to plant grass first.

“He was determined to change. On Saturday, he was among priests who went to do mass at Makueni Girls but he didn’t return with the others. We waited for him but when it became late, we said we will leave the main door open so that when he comes, he will just enter. He returned in the wee hours of Sunday morning,” said Munguti. 

That is why he ended up remaining behind to rest on his boss’ instructions as his mates proceeded to conduct masses across stations within the parish. He, however, later left for the market centre and checked into a hotel along  Wote-Machakos Road at 8am. It is here where he was found dead. 

Across several drinking joints in Wote town, he was more of a customer, than a priest, waiters told The Nairobian. 

“People have been writing all manner of bad things about his death. But I want to tell people that depression can affect anyone, including priests. People should therefore stop rebuking this incident,” Father Mangiti said. 

After the mass, peers and the flock he ministered to  described Fr Kyalo as a humble man who lived a simple life.

“Where I served as a catechist, he was one among those I took through catechism teachings in their childhood. He was a good child, but after he joined the priesthood he came back a different person. 

“You could not tell he was drunk.  I heard about his problems and I phoned him to inquire about his progress, he pretended to be okay,” said Mzee Kasina Mwasho.

Veronica Wayua, the late Kyalo’s mother, is sickly and was unable to follow the requiem mass to the end. She was taken back to her house and didn’t address the congregation. Dr. Morgan Mwariama, Makueni County psychologist, says society views priests as people who should be solving problems and not disclosing what they are facing.

“Priests face more problems than their flock and they tend to keep quiet,” he said

The late priest hails from Mbooni which is leading in cases of suicide with alcohol being linked to the problems,  Dr. Mwariama said. Dr. Stephen Musembi of Makueni Referral Hospital who performed an autopsy on the body said Fr Kyalo died of organophosphate poisoning. He will be laid to rest today, at Katoloni cemetery, Machakos County.