Financial independence is key

Some time back I read in your magazine, Eve Bridal, about women who had sacrificed careers for the sake of their marriages. The women interviewed were all happy and had no regrets about it, but I differ.

I quit my job when my husband was transferred to a job outside the country. Our children then were aged three and one and we thought it best for us to be together.

Moving to a new country is difficult especially when one has to adapt to a new culture and lifestyle and this was a new experience for me. The longest I had been out of the country was for a week maximum and this is when we’d be on holiday with my husband.

Anyway, after settling and trying to adjust to the new environment, things also changed at home. I thought that since I no longer had a source of income, my husband would not have a problem giving me an allowance. This, however, was not to be.

Into our third month, he started complaining that I was spending too much money on myself. He decided to be the one doing the house shopping so that I didn’t need to ask him money for grocery shopping. Things got so bad that I could not even afford money to buy sanitary towels. Needless to say, all we did was fight and he spent less time at home.

After three years he had to resume duties in the Nairobi office and I couldn’t be more happier.

I started looking for a job once we were back and I was lucky to find one immediately.

I learnt that financial independence, no matter how little one might be earning, is key. Some men, like my husband displayed, will disrespect their partners once they loose their source of income.

- Agnes