We fought hammer and tongs, now let’s lift hammer and sickle

By Peter Kimani

Let’s just say, in the parlance of a colleague in love with "difficult" English, Kenya has been lying fallow for many decades – four if you want a specific count – ready to be ploughed.

The Brits left in a hurry, so they say, and, if you listen to some gripping narratives, we were not quite ready for Independence. We needed to be "prepared" to appreciate the finer things of life such as the four o’clock tea (although nobody follows such rituals in England), or the table manners that demand use of a side-plate to butter your bread.

The whole idea, I was coached in my younger days, although the instructions went in through the one ear, out through the other, that dipping a fork from the tin onto the bread had the hallmarks of gluttony.

I am reflecting on those things because Kenyans are learning to use chopsticks, now that the Chinese are in town, in readiness for a great feast.

I have no idea if the feast, celebrating the completion of this or that project, afforded through the generous "grants" from our Red friends, shall be made possible from kickbacks, and I am not thinking about Chinese karate.

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As a matter of fact, the supposition that the Chinese contractors are anything but prudent businessmen is propaganda from envious West, considering corruption is punishable by death in China.

But I am digressing; whether the Chinese consider hanging criminals as a population control mechanism shouldn’t be anybody’s business. After all, when you have 1.3 billion mouths to feed, something has to give.

The reason I am excited is because Prezzo is back from China with a bagful of goodies that leave some (the sort that should face the firing squad instead of hanging by the noose) drooling.

I am talking about the cowboy contractors who had made a habit to pretend to be doing some serious work laying tar on tarmac, then hibernate until another job was commissioned.

Now Prezzo and his men have invited the real workers to do the actual work, and the results are pretty impressive.

In return, we have given the Chinese "tokens" of appreciation by having a live feed of Radio China on the national broadcaster, and a centre honouring Confucius sits handsomely at the University of Nairobi to propagate Chinese philosophy.

You see, our forefathers fought hammer and tongs to liberate this land, but the Chinese fought even longer to secure their freedom.

Now that they are here, let’s lift their flag bearing the image of hammer and sickle, symbols of workers’ toil, and rejoice in their presence. And from the look of things, the guests are here for the long haul.

Full revelation inChurch-State duel

So, the Church is being funded by foreigners? That has always been the case, isn’t it? But that was before Gilbert Deya’s daring miracles in the West that included so-called miracle babies, and the obscene opulence that the man of God appeared to live in.

But the idea that the Church in Kenya, Evangelical or whatever, is being funded by foreign masters, is quite telling. We now know who speaks when we hear their voice.

Trickle of genius from water firm

Three cheers to the Nairobi Water Company for staying ahead of the game. I successfully used their online service to pay a water bill. Two days later, a message came through acknowledging the payment and indicating the balance.

This is what it means to be a company in step with the recent, isn’t it? I hope corporate dinosaurs that insist on mailing bills to customers and receiving hard cash are reading.

FEEDBACK

Centre of power away from road

I read comments by Joseph Solonka from Loitokitok and Eric Kipngeno from Kericho, regarding the now famous pole in the middle of the tarmac road in Imenti, in your column of 23rd April 2010.

The powerline in the picture was built in 1992 on the road reserve as is the practice to supply Antubetwe Secondary School and the local market.

The road was upgraded to an all weather track in 2009 which entailed expanding, and that is how the pole ended up being in the middle of the road.

Where a road is being upgraded and extended, the entity requiring a power line to be moved from its path is called wayleave. It pays KPLC for the relocation of the line. Such lines are currently being relocated by KPLC upon payment for the exercise.

Migwi Theuri

Deputy Manager

Corporate Communications, KPLC