By Tony Mochama and Stevens Muendo

Last Sunday, a week before Valentine’s Day, Eric Wainaina stood on a stage in front of lots of well-heeled patrons and patronesses of the monthly ‘Blankets & Wine’ event at Tayana Stables that is just a stone’s throw, as the crow flies, from Windsor Gardens – where many high society weddings are lavishly celebrated.

The day was perfect, with blankets on the green grass, wine popping out of baskets and a sky so clear and blue that as Eric looked at it as he sang his heart out (Joka, Ritwa Riaku, Kenya Only, Hii Ngoma), it might have seemed to him as if that cornflower blue azure was mocking the storm that had recently blown over his marriage like a hurricane. And caused so much heartbreak to his beloved wife, the ever classy lady Sheba Hirst.

If that hurricane had a name, it would be Hurricane Valerie — and the said ‘transgressions’ (thank you, Tiger, for that word of great utility) would have occurred in the grand city of New York.

Prezzo and Daisy exchanging vows.

• .

  Keep Reading

• 
  Iran's Quds Force chief Qaani attends general's funeral

Some sad romances have happy endings (Kev & Tracy), others wax far from ecstacy.

Take the nasty case – of Nasty Thomas.

After three years of union, former Deux Vultures singer Nasty Thomas and his wife Josephine allegedly have their marriage on the rocks.

According to sources close to the couple, the two are still trying to pull the strings together after a husband snatcher rocked their marriage a month ago.

The girl in the middle, whom we will call Dee, was in shock when Pulse called her to inquire about her romantic escapades with Nasty, a thing which is said to be the genesis of the couple’s marital woes.

Dee, a former flight attendant working in a leading airline, is rumoured to have taken her passion for Nasty too far.

Allegedly, she made her way to Nasty’s bedroom, where she was busted by Josephine.

According to our sources, Josephine had been tipped that her hubby had been cheating on her. And that evening, Josephine pretended she would fly out on duty, only to come back home and find Dee in her matrimonial house.

"I know Nasty. Please, let’s meet and talk this out," Dee pleaded with the Pulse.

That evening, Dee changed her phone lines and bragged to a friend that "the paparazzi will never get me"

But this snitch managed to get her new line for the paper, and by morning, Dee was on the run again, like an adulterous viper.

When approached, Nasty did not comment on the matter and promised to grant us an interview in week’s to come.

But Celebville is rife that Josephine and Nasty are no longer living together.

Ironic, coming from one half of a duo that unbelted, pardon the pun, a song that goes: "Bwana yake mfupi, bibi mfupi, huyo kijana mrefu ame-to-ka wa-pi??"

But it was Abbas and Baby G’s short-lived marriage that caused the major marriage stir last year.

It had been at a classy and colourful invites-only wedding held at Mamba Village, Nairobi, that the two rappers had exchanged vows.

And weeks later, the two held another away-from-fairy tale ceremony before the glare of the camera and the whole Nairobi at KICC.

That seemed to be the beginning of the end. In less time than it takes to take a baby from conception to birth, things were falling apart and Baby G had split to Norway.

Recently, Abbas broke his silence on the break-up and pointed fingers on fellow rapper Chiwawa whom he blamed for the break-up, saying he was always telling lies that "Abbas was having affairs."

In other words, barking out Kubaff like a chihuahua.

Abbas has since kept his head high, and is ready to unleash his next album on the country soon. At one point, he told the media that "hip-hop gangstas don’t fall in love."

Then there is the just popping out rumour that Prezzo and his Daisy may be on ‘scotch-on-the-rocks’ these days, with sections of the media saying that her folks have already flown her out of the country to ‘re-think the king of bling,’ even as legal steps are made.

To his credit, CMB Prezzo was looking for Pulse Editor CEO as late as last weekend, and we’re hoping to keep you in the loop on that developing story.

Perhaps the best approach to this whole rocky thorns-on-the-rose love business is Shaffie’s militant stance.

In his long on-and-off affair with Debbie, the love of his life, the fun and flamboyant Shaffie simply says about this matter: "Kwani? A Muslim is allowed to have up to four wives."

Or as Swaleh Mdoe, or was it his babu, spaketh: "Afadhali tujaribu hivi karibu kufikia Bwana Zuma, ama?"