After eating all the grains, the chickens are roosting

Peter Kimani

Bush Baby, I mean the outgoing US President and son of George Bush Snr, whom we also know as George W, appeared defeated as he spoke to his nation recently and unveiled billion-dollar rescue plan to salvage American corporations.

There was a slight stoop on the shoulder, a crease on the face. But he also appeared relieved; such decisions would be made by someone else soon.

This week, it was Kenya’s turn. After decades of dangerous dalliance with capitalism, the chickens, in the words of African-American freedom icon Malcolm X, came home to roost.

Chants of unga (flour) threatened to subsume the political space as multitudes, unable to suffer in silence, declared enough is enough.

Square meals

There was no overt threat to violence, nor breaking into shops where grains were being hoarded by politicians who behaved like sea pirates.

All they said is that no man, not matter how virtuous, could pray on an empty belly.

Well, I think it is Mahatma Gandhi who said that; the Kenyan youths simply said they were in no mood to listen attentively if they had no food to eat. When the price of ‘unga’ goes up, for many of us who eat, drink and dream ugali, means diminished prospects for three square meals.

And it is one thing to promise the young better prospects in a distant future; it is another to take away what they are feeding on. Of course they can’t eat stones, which is all politicians offer.

For a succession of Kenyan generations, the narrative of the young as "future leaders" has been rendered with finesse crafty politicians who understand the art of making money.

So they plunder forests so that those who depend on rain-fed agriculture, are turned into virtual slaves on their farms, and set benchmarks for wages that remain criminally depressed.

Don’t mention African Socialism; that was the cardinal sin where those parliamentarians falsifying mileage claims learnt the meaning of ‘kula njaro’. Don’t bother translating this, it means more than mere pretensions.

Dehumanising

The waters are bitter not just because rivers, once seen as sources of life, now bear waste from morgues, as has been happening in many parts of this beloved land. After robbing Kenyans blind, they have realised the folly on dehumanising capitalism.

By setting and subsidising the price of ‘unga’, the Government’s making the initial though critical acknowledgement of the failure of capitalism to convey decency in the collective humanity when profit, no matter the price, is the prime motivation.

Not any more. Capitalism is dead. Long live capitalism. And the looters stashed money abroad better be warned: They may have no countries to flee to when the young men and women demand their ‘unga’ – in weights and measures they can afford.

Bunge’s 3-minute tea delay

Last week, as Kibera residents made siasa ya choo (toilet politics) by rejecting Habitat’s gift of toilet, an MP appeared at Bunge canteen.

She summoned a junior member of staff and demanded to see the manager immediately. The manager dutifully appeared.

"What time isn’t it? she demanded in a voice shaky with rage, glancing at her watch to reveal the studs of gold and diamonds and other meta-meta on her arm. It was 4.03 pm.

"Why is our tea late?" she fumed. "It should have been served at 4pm."

Tea at four is a very English tradition, but for as far as I am aware, I am yet to hear any Englishman or woman harangue over the ritual. They couldn’t, since they don’t grow it.

But since we retain very many colonial relics, like wigs and woollen tails for Speaker, we might as well respect the tea tradition.

Incidentally, the MP in question is nominated, so represents no one but her stomach.

Which is not a bad thing at all since gluttony has been accepted as conventional parliamentary conduct. To imagine a healthy adult ranting over a cup of tea when children are dying because of hunger is quite common in our beloved country.

Oiling the wheels of tyranny

Kenyans’ considerable pressure to have their MPs pay tax is admirable.

But there is a group that Kenyans need to lobby to stop their thieving ways – the matatus. In my days of youth, when I thought I had fire in my belly, I would be thrown out for refusing to submit to the touts’ many orders: ‘Kaa skweya, rudi nyuma, songa kando, ongeza pesa’…

Now that the fuel prices have been reduced, isn’t it time Kenyans demanded cheaper fares? Well, perhaps not. The touts are accustomed to harassing passengers and one fellow can dictate to a dozen or two people what to do or what not to do.

When there is the least hint of rainfall, for instance, touts get visions of coins falling off the sky and demand more money. When traffic builds up, he will collect the fares and chant, "mwisho mwisho" (end of the road) and return from whence he came.

If Kenyans are not sufficiently outraged to reject such antics, then they should trek to work and save their money, for we truly deserve better.