Every woman needs a man

By Tony Ngare

Certain discussion can be poisonous. The other day my friend Stella stirred a hornet’s nest by declaring that women no longer needed men in their lives. This she did in the presence of no less than five men. We were on our way back from Embu after dowry negotiations for my dear friend Gera, who wants to own the title of husband next month.

The institution of marriage has often been criticised by modern female corporate types. Among them is Stella, who wonders why society has placed a premium on men and marriage yet, according to her, women no longer need men.

She insists that a modern woman enjoying a fat pay package and who drives herself even to the mechanic in Kirinyaga Road doesn’t need a man around her. This does not sit well with many men.

Saying that women don’t need men is like asking if computers need human beings to operate, states Frao. Of course, women will always need men, he declares.

The word ‘woman’ means taken from man. Technically, a woman exists only as an extension of man, Kim adds.

We are analysing this after a sumptuous meal on Thika Road. Keen to support my boys, I weigh in with my two-cent worth of opinion. "Honestly, it is hard to believe that adults can take such a juvenile approach to the ancient and biological relationship between men and women," I say. "Our need for each other goes further than mere incomes."

"Women have inherent rights that they do not enjoy in most societies," states Stella. "Enlightened women know the needs of women so they go about agitating for change without confusing vulgarity with feminism."

Wise saying

Independence, she continued, is such a deep philosophical concept that most men will never grasp it in their lifetime. "An independent woman is not the one who has enough money to buy bread, as some feminists think, but one who is able to preserve her honour.

Regardless of what many a young woman makes of the modern lifestyle, many men feel it’s in the interest of harmony that both man and woman get to know and stick to their own positions. These are the positions that society expects them to adhere to, to maintain harmony.

Among my people, there is a saying that the neck can never rise above the head. This wise saying is widely employed when dealing with matters touching on the superiority contests among gender.

Furthermore, many people believe there is a natural rule and hierarchy established by the maker. Any attempt to corrupt it will only result in failure and sorrow. Every woman needs a man, so goes a popular song.

An African woman without a man is like a fish out of water.

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