Men have written the book on corruption; will new female politicians improve it?

Corruption is a cancerous root that needs to be yanked out before it has a chance to really seep into the soil. Even then, it must be attacked with extreme prejudice, sparing no costs and paying no mind to the collateral damage.

Having said that, there are a few things that warm my heart quite like corruption for the sake of love. I could be leading the charge against a corrupt individual; brandishing my pitchfork and yelling at the top of my voice, but if the chap told us he was redirecting funds for the benefit of his boo, my reaction is likelier to be "Awwww" than it is "Burn them all!"

I do not condone the pilfering of public resources at all. It is a despicable practice that cripples our ability to grow as a nation. I am simply saying when we go for the culprits, could we start with the ones stealing to enrich their own selves, and finish with the ones just trying to make their mamaa happy?

I have little political ambition myself, despite the anguished cries of my village people and their promise to vote for me en masse should they ever see me within 50 feet of a campaign rally. And despite my proven leadership record (managing the family Whatsapp group that has suffered zero sex scandals). But, if I was ever to find myself being called Mheshimiwa, I cannot promise that I would allow my sweet lover to continue suffering the indignity of unemployment. If I had jobs to dish out, I am honest enough to admit that I would at least consider throwing one in the direction of that cousin who has resorted to selling Premier League odds to afford his ka-quarter.

Do not judge. Let him without a newly-graduated nephew cast the first stone. Or a new special friend who did computer packages and just wants an internship to get herself started.

And so, when I see a newly-elected governor invite her hubby, a musician in his own right, to pluck strings at her swearing-in ceremony, I am filled, not with rage at the long, cancerous fingers of graft, but pride at the enduring spirit of love.

Another governor might have been tempted to ask Chibude how big a dent he would leave in the county coffers for five minutes of his time. How much if he only performed Salome? What if he kept his shirt on? Would he accept payment in the form of one of the ghels from the Mountain?

Not this governor, though. This one knew she did not have to look far. Her babe could twang the wires with the best of them, and he had the advantage of knowing which tunes to play to get her in the mood. I must thank the Governor for that timely reminder that true love is not dead. I had one foot in the market before her intervention. At least I now know what the bare minimum is; if you won't invite me to perform at your inauguration, I don't want it. If you cannot find a way to offload an iPhone 13 Pro Max in my direction, do you even deserve to be called 'Mheshimiwa'? And if you cannot send out a public message warning any of the women who have been 'timing' me that their time is up, why are we even together?

We have made history in terms of the number of women we've voted into some of the biggest offices in the land. We still have some ways to go before getting to the first female President in the Republic. But we do have a lot of First Gentlemen roaming the country, fellas whose wives will be occupying the highest seat in their respective counties for at least five years. It is an exciting future, one I cannot wait to witness and make fun of.

We have been subjected to the male brand of corruption for far too long. While it will be admirable if our newest recruits rebuked the vice altogether, I am also on the edge of my seat as to how they will redefine the game.