How do I know if he's the one for me?

How do I know if he's the one for me? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

No relationship is ever perfect, but my boyfriend has been wonderful. And now, we’ve even started talking about getting married! He’s the one, isn’t he?

Keeper

Chris says, 

Hi Keeper!

It sounds like he might be!

A relationship’s for real once you start saying ‘we’ a lot. That means you’re thinking like a team and have figured out how to solve issues.

And the big questions don’t seem like such a big deal anymore. Ideas like marriage and having children just come up in the course of conversation naturally. You have different beliefs and personalities, but you cope with them and find your differences interesting rather than annoying.

You can’t even begin to imagine going on a date with anyone else and commitment feels effortless. You’re also way above your usual happiness level. Everyone’s baseline level is different, but when a relationship keeps your happiness way above normal, then that’s a firm indication that things are good.

Back at work after a long weekend, you really miss your boyfriend. Somehow, not being side by side 24/7 feels wrong.

He’s the first person you want to tell when anything happens in your life. Your WhatsApp thread is full of weird messages that no one else would ever understand. And when you mention one or other of his irritating quirks, he just gets on with it and fixes it.

You’re both really nice to your parents and you mean it. You plan far-off events together and when your friends complain about their relationships, you have nothing to contribute.

You’re living a normal life together, not some crazy romantic fairytale. You’ve shown each other all your weird habits and emotions and nothing dreadful has happened. You can be completely gross, like spending all day in bed together without getting washed and it doesn’t seem to matter because you love each other just as you are, sloppy clothes and all.

And your stuff is gradually becoming ‘our stuff.’ Watching the same movies is one thing; your sofa becoming ‘our sofa’ is quite another and as good as an engagement ring!

All the best,

Chris