How can my husband and I get closer again?

How can my husband and I get closer again? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I still love my husband, but we’re not as close as we used to be. I think it’s because we don’t put as much effort into our relationship as we should.

How can we make this right?

Getting Closer

Chris says, 

Hi Getting Closer!

Being close and emotionally intimate is important, so you need to keep building the connection between you.

For example, you can never say ‘I love you’ too often, as long as you both mean it! But you can also express your love by telling each other how much you mean to each other, which makes you both feel good and admired. And if one of you does something nice, notice it and say something about it.

Show that you care about each other’s health, admit when you’re wrong, and compliment each other in front of your family and friends.

You won’t always agree, of course, but never disagree in front of others, no matter how ‘wrong’ one of you is. Then you’ll both feel that you’re a team and that you’ll always stand up for each other.

Listening to each other says that you care about each other’s feelings. So make a conscious effort to give each other your undivided attention whenever it’s needed.

Make the most of the time you spend together. Even when you’re relaxing, be fully aware of each other. Eat together whenever possible. Talk about your day and share your thoughts. Make meals special. Try new foods, new restaurants, and new recipes. It sounds like such a small thing, but every little novelty adds excitement to the way you feel about each other.

Go to bed at the same time. Cuddle a little as you drift off, and kiss good night as part of your routine. Instead of just turning over or going to the bedroom hours apart.

Even the smallest gestures mean a lot, so give each other a hug or a kind word whenever it’s needed. That way, you’ll always know that you’re each other’s number one priority. And you will grow closer and closer.

All the best,

Chris