What you need to know about being a side chick

This kind of man will never prioritise you over his wife or girlfriend (Photo: Courtesy)

In 2020, when the world was under the heavy cloud of Coronavirus I found myself in an entanglement I never thought possible. I was a side chick, yes I was the other woman!

While people were busy learning new skills and honing the old ones during the pandemic, I on the other hand had my plate full luxuriating with a man I thought was the one.

Reality came crashing on me when I came across a video of him (my man) and in his arms another woman. When I confronted him about it, his response was straight and a bitter pill to swallow.

“This is my wife babe, I thought you knew.” Of course, I had a rough idea I wasn’t the only fish in his pond but I didn’t want to believe it.

Despite this discovery, I stuck around enjoying the dying embers of a love I knew too well was going nowhere. I finally threw in the towel after three months, cat and mouse games were not for me.

As much as I enjoyed the forbidden love, I must also admit this was the most difficult relationship I had ever been in. So if you are planning to be a side chick, here are things you need to know:

You will always be the dirty little secret

Don’t be fooled by the friends calling you ‘our wife’ or ‘in-law’. It’s a scam! If you expect to be publicly acknowledged as his woman to his family, colleagues, or even on social media, then you will be waiting a long time. Part of the secrecy also entails the social media etiquette commandment; "Thou shall not post his face and though shall not be posted".

The relationship is mainly about sex and nothing more (Photo: iStock)

Your role is to keep things interesting

No one wants to risk it all for a dull affair. The adrenaline rush needs to up top every single time you meet. There is no room to be boring, stressful or even playing hard to get. Your main task is to baby your man, keep things light, lessen his problems, and be a comedian if you must. The moment you start to nag him; your days are numbered.

Love him at your own risk

As a side chick, there is no room for talk about where the relationship is headed. After a few hookups, it is easy to get emotionally invested but though shall not forget her place in this kind of relationship. The chances of promotion are slim to nil, you, therefore, have to remind yourself that he will never leave his wife and children for you.

You lose your right to be jealous

This is a no-brainer. With all that entails being a side chick, you’ll have to master the art of suppressing most of your emotions, especially jealousy. You might fall in love, you might get jealous, mad, angry, at times over excited, or want to throw a tantrum, but remember it’s not your place to vent to him. Find a friend who cares to keep your emotions in check.

What you get is what you have, you can give no ultimatums or sulk when things don't go your way (Photo: iStock)

You have to maintain high beauty standards

Being a purely physical relationship, you cannot afford to slack on your looks. You must always be well dressed with a clean house. No bad hair days or lazy periods. Probably to him you are just the shiny little toy he gets to show off to his friends.

His main woman will forever come first

You will never be a priority; you are merely a side chick. If the wife or girlfriend calls, no matter the time or place, that man will exit running. You can’t sulk or give this kind of man ultimatums, they will always choose the main woman and that will never be you.

You can't be jealous when he is busy with his main woman (Photo: iStock)

It could end at any time

Like I mentioned before dating an unavailable man is like a cat and mouse game, sometimes you run and sometimes you get caught. And more often than not you get caught. So you are always on guard, you might have him today and tomorrow things are over and he will owe you nothing.

His woman probably knows you too

As much as side chicks brag about knowing their competition what makes them think the main women don’t know them? Some choose to move in the shadows and wait for the right moment to pounce while others just don’t care. But never be fooled that you are completely sleek or safe, it’s a risky affair at the end of it all.