What I would have loved Oburu to say at Raila memorial event

Today marks the first anniversary of the death of Baba Raila Odinga. A special memorial event, graced by President William Ruto and his predecessor Uhuru Kenyatta, will be held in Bondo.

Raila’s big brother, Oburu Oginga, has been indisposed and has thus been unable to take part in the commemorative events since the anniversary month began.

With his trademark wit, humour and political jabs, Dr Oginga is a man whose words many folks would have been eager to hear at today’s gathering. One can only imagine what he might have said on such a momentous occasion meant to remember Kenya’s most consequential leader. Putting myself in the shoes of Oburu’s speechwriter, here is what I would have drafted for him:

“Comrades, today is a chance for all of us to pause, reflect and honour my brother Raila Odinga’s legacy. Coincidentally, it’s also my birthday.

But before I proceed, I wish to remind you that this special month will culminate in lighting candles. Please don’t light your gas cooker or jikos, only candles.

Distinguished colleagues, I will admit that it hasn’t been easy filling Raila’s shoes as the ODM party leader. I am still trying. But if I won’t fit Raila’s big shoes, then I will make my own.

Indeed, Baba’s spirit continues to prevail. Today therefore, I extend an olive branch to Babu Owino, Caroli Omondi, James Orengo and Godfrey Osotsi and all the rebels. Let me assure them that I am ready to work with everyone, including those who up to now don’t know which side of our party they belong.

Ladies and gentlemen, some people have deliberately developed a new interpretation of democracy to mean rebellion, others have discovered parallel rallies, and a few have suddenly realised that ODM has a constitution. But I want to assure them that we will remain where Baba left us.

If you no longer like the Orange, there are many other fruits in the market. We aren’t forcing anybody to eat oranges with us. I also want to use this occasion to address our former Secretary General Edwin Sifuna. ODM has survived bigger storms than his so-called countrywide rallies.

In fact, Sifuna, you must respect me. I was a celebrity even before my brother Raila was known. When he was teaching at the university, I was already a councillor. Be warned, I will soon be visiting all the 47 counties. Wait and see the mammoth crowds I will pull.

Sifuna, you are the age of my grandchildren. Your Equitable Party is nothing. When you oppose the affordable housing programme just because your chicken can’t climb the staircase, then you need to think twice. You claim that Raila said ‘who has told you’ when he chaired his very last ODM meeting.

I am asking you the same question Sifuna. Who has told you to come for my crown?  Ngou! I want to tell you kijana, don’t shout about the 10-point agenda or bring Uhuru Kenyatta and Rigathi Gachagua to us. But if you are ready to return to ODM as a prodigal son, the door is wide open.

I am asking you, why is Uhuru telling us that Raila won the 2022 election? Why did he hand over power to William Ruto if Raila had won? Mr Sponsor, perhaps in 2030, you will emerge to tell us who won the 2027 election. Uwinjo, all we want is power.

We love President Ruto. We also love his deputy Kithure Kindiki. In fact, we love Prof Kindiki so much that we are prepared to ask him to give ODM his seat.

As our chairperson Gladys Wanga and our very own Mr Judas Iscariot will tell you, frogs like Uhuru, Gachagua and Sifuna can’t prevent the cow from drinking at the stream. Finally, dear friends, stop the social media rumours about me. Long live ODM party. May this anniversary unite us all.”