Help! Why is my marriage so boring?

Help! Why is my marriage so boring? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

We’ve become married couples who ignore each other even when we’re in the same room! Not that we’re together that much anyway. Is there any way we can get back to the days when we couldn’t keep our hands off each other?

Neglect

Chris says, 

Hi Neglect!

Neglecting each other is the most common mistake couples make. Because it’s all too easy to fall into a self-centred routine. Wake up, work, socialise, scroll, fall asleep, repeat. They hardly notice each other until suddenly the connection between you is gone.

Instead, cuddle for a few minutes when you wake up. Have breakfast together. Catch each other up on the day, especially if you’ll be late. Cook and eat together, turn off the phone early and go to bed together - at the same time!

It’s all about priorities. Think about how much time you spend with your work, your salon and your friends, rather than with your husband. And especially your children.

So many women neglect their husbands once the children arrive. It’s understandable, but when the kids go to bed, your husband still wants a touch of that lovely, wild girlfriend he fell in love with.

So relaxing, talking and being affectionate together is just as important as anything else you do. It’s not that you don’t have the time. It’s just that you use it for something else. You fell in love because you spent time together. You’ll fall out again if you stop.

For example, when was the last time you really kissed? How often do you talk about anything other than your diary, the kids or money? Do you really laugh together? Soon you’ll start complaining that your husband no longer ‘meets your needs’...

You chose your husband because you wanted each other. So make sex an important part of your life together. Talk about what you like to do in bed. Listen to each other’s fantasies and try them out.

Do you get the idea? You should make your love life a priority because it’s one of the greatest pleasures you can have on this earth.

 All the best,

Chris