The rise of women in the era of tamed husbands

The rise of women in the era of tamed husbands (Photo: iStock)

Marriage is complicated, especially today that we live in a genderless society where the use and power of your gonads start and end in bed when the activity ends and the sweating subsides. The reset button is activated immediately after Memsahib uses the washroom to clean up the mess.

Once factory settings are restored, the family is returned to the state of confusion – it had no head nor tail or neck. The family unit as we know it now has multifunctional bottoms with all stakeholders holding equal say and sway. Even children can demand that the menu be revised despite the fact they contribute nothing to the family coffers. Public participation requires that they are accorded a hearing and their suggestions integrated accordingly.

In essence, what it means is that marriage now is like Azimio and Kenya Kwanza, which claims to be government but cannot dictate how the country runs even with the advantage of voting numbers on the floor of both houses. It is interesting that the government has now owned and officially spearheads the AU pursuit of the opposition leader who ought to be in his village going by the campaign venom.

Now, before men accepted to be caged, controlled by one woman in a monogamous set up, old men had the insight of how to manage the social rebellion. You see, if you marry more than one wife, they will fight each other as you try to play umpire to restore order. All the while, the men stayed as the prize and enjoyed intense services from both corners of the ring after each round of fight when the wives were on break after dusk. Men of that generation wallowed in endless peace and fun, life was good. The head was well defined and far ahead of the tail in as far as rights and control was concerned.

If the man brought in a third wife, the first two formed an alliance against her and the battle took a new twist yet the prize remained the same – the man. The man stayed as the undisputed king of social political maneuvers as he continued to enjoy unrivalled peace while sampling goodies from a wider variety of three. 

Then the whites brought in Christianity, education and TV. Men, instead of going to war and fighting to protect boundaries learned how to kiss women and pleasure them instead of drawing pleasure from them. Then slowly we took away the power and started wielding it viciously against the men making them adopt some form of truce that gave us voice to speak and later to demand. Now they are largely our subjects. We hear reports that many of these descendants of Adam now draw pleasure from being dominated and spanked in the bedroom where power roles are defined by action.

While we let them keep the ceremonial role of headship, the truth is that we call the shots now and dictate how things are done. We smartly hoodwink them to commit to the one-woman- one-man arrangement so that we can focus our energies on taming their rogue edges rather than fighting fellow women. We dictate whether there would be sex or none of it knowing that that is a tool in our control for perfect manipulation. When we withhold carnal service, they are forced to dance to out tune because they do not have the luxury of wife number two, three and four like their ancestors did to provide the alternative wells of life.

The man today is under siege, many of them left with no option but to adopt the tagline ‘happy wife, happy life’. When we choose to travel abroad because we are bored and need to reenergise, no human force can stand on our way even when they suspect we would be using their credit cards to pay bills for some random Benten. These are pleasures of life that our mothers would never dream about as their husbands received salaries on their behalf to entertain their co-wives to fuel more domestic instability as they benefit from the ensuing chaos.

You see, for every suffering the man of today goes through, they should blame their generation before. On the other hand, we have no doubt that our grandmothers and the women before them are happy with how much we have become bold enough to beat men in what was hitherto their area of dominance. In fact, now we have men fighting for our attention while we enjoy the freedom of choice. Whether it is called hypergamy or any other name, the point is that we are intent in keeping our place as the prize and drawing the best experience of this life. No woman should ever drop the ball.