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They say you don’t kick a man when he’s down. You let him rise before delivering another dafrao. So, my heart went out to Rigathi Gachagua aka Riggy G, the impeached Deputy Prezzo who is fighting in court to have his job restored, when he was taken ill last week.
By weekend, when Riggy G was back on his feet, he emerged from the hospital ward destined for Kwale, where his boss, now former boss, Prezzo Bill Ruto, was addressing the nation on Mashujaa Day.
I suppose his mission was two-pronged: to receive Prezzo Ruto and welcome him to Kwale, thereby nullifying the serious claim of insubordination, while highlighting his credentials as a “national” leader who ventures in any corner of the republic, not just his Mount Kenya bastion.
But as Riggy G found out, no plane was ready to ferry him to Kwale, perhaps because his passport had been flagged, or an embargo had been placed not to fly him within the Kenyan air space. These impeachment manenos are so complex, I hear even his staff found locks to their offices had been changed when they reported for work!
Now, don’t ask me who would be applying tactics used by mean landlords to keep rent defaulters out of their pads; after all, Riggy G is neither a tenant nor a landlord. He was only a shareholder of Kenya Inc.
In any case, Riggy G had more things to worry about than going to Kwale: his security detail had been withdrawn, as were staff and aides. He was, in a word, a man alone.
Prezzo Ruto cut a similarly forlorn figure in Kwale. His greetings to the assembled crowd, as he did his lap of honour, went unheeded. He waved frantically using one hand, then both hands, but wapi! No response.
This lukewarm reception saw him dive in his official speech that he delivered in halting English. And I said to myself: This is strange. Who speaks English in Kwale?
I think the English expression, out of touch and out of depth, was specially invented for Prezzo Ruto. I continued my monologue: This man looks so unhappy, reading such an unhappy script, in such an unhappy tone.
I tried to listen to the unhappy speech, read in an unhappy tone. It made zero sense. For the first time in 61 years of our nationhood, the Kenya Land and Freedom Army, better known as the Mau Mau, were erased from a presidential address hailing our freedom struggle.
Yes, the decade-long armed struggle that uprooted the Brits from our midst—making Kenya the singular society that militarily resisted the British occupation in the entire wide world, did not make the list of our freedom heroes.
I put it down to Prezzo Ruto’s use of ChatGPT, the App that can make up just about anything, at the click of a button. After all, if Riggy G’s staff have been sent home, I suspected Prezzo Ruto had sent away his staff in solidarity.
And since ChatGPT has memory of warthog, it cannot enumerate all our independence heroes. It reeled off the name of Mekatilili wa Menza from the Coast, before hailing Ronald Ngala, who was part of the settlers-fronted Kadu, fighting the unitary vision of Kanu.
Prezzo Ruto then enumerated heroes from other parts of the country, including Ukambani and Kisii, carefully skirting around central Kenya. If the point was to avoid the “Murima” politics, his historical amnesia pushes provincialism to another level.
For Riggy G is not Mau Mau, even though he claims its affiliations. What Prezzo Ruto missed out, for not having studied history, is that the Mau Mau does not need Kenya Kwanza acknowledgment; it is Kenya Kwanza that needs Mau Mau.
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