How you can work on your social skills

How you can work on your social skills (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I’m afraid of meeting new people, especially in large groups. But my job requires me to meet clients! So how can I make a good impression when I’m so nervous?

Impressions

Chris says,

Hi, Impressions!

You’ll only feel comfortable meeting new people if you practise the skills that make it enjoyable.

It starts with ‘confident body language’, which signals that you’re completely comfortable, even when you’re not. Then everyone will like you before you’ve even said a word!

So always look up, with your head held high, your hands relaxed and most of your weight on one leg. It’s a typical ‘high achiever’ stance, facing the person you’re talking to.

We prefer people to look directly at us, so always look people in the eye. We look up to tall people, so stand up straight and choose clothes that enhance your height. Know what the dress code is in each situation and aim to look just a little bit better than that - that way you’ll both blend in and stand out.

Start conversations with a vague, impersonal question. Something like ‘It’s warm today, isn’t it? If you’re the one answering, just make your answer at least as long as the opener, and preferably another question: ‘Yes, it is, isn’t it?

From then on, just be genuinely interested in the people you’re with. Make good eye contact, smile and make lots of encouraging noises and gestures. Ask about their work, their studies, their family, their likes and dislikes, and so on.

Whenever they reveal something, reveal something similar about yourself. And follow up on their answers without going too deep. It’s a ready-made conversation! Everyone loves to talk about themselves, and they’ll end up telling everyone how interesting you are.

Talk to as many people as possible at work events. You already have something in common just by being there, so talk to whoever you’re next to.

Get the idea? Enjoying meeting new people is a skill. Learn the techniques and you’ll have a great time. And make a great impression!

All the best,

Chris