Stress is not a new phenomenon; it has existed since the beginning of the earth.

Even in the Bible, Prophet Elijah was so stressed and depressed that he wanted to commit suicide when Jezebel, the wife of King’ Ahab, sought to kill him for destroying the prophets of doom/Baal prophets.

Meanwhile, the holiday season carries an ugly, stressful veneer that overshadows the bravado and the smiling faces many Kenyans wear at the end of each year. These stresses are mostly financial and social in nature with urban dwellers the most affected.

Humans are social beings, however, urbanization has tested and weakened the social fabric over time. In African society, the belief in rites of passage is strong. These rites serve as indicators that, as the years go by, we are growing and progressing.

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This belief is deeply cherished in our culture, although the current environment has made it challenging for some, especially the urban dwellers, to live up to  this expectation. During the December holidays, families come together, eager to know how we are faring in life.

Parents with children who are transitioning to adulthood are often concerned when they realise a loved one has yet to secure a stable job, get married, or achieve the independence that defines adulthood.

When these two interact, parents are tempted to offer solutions to the youth, who view the advice as unwelcome pressure. If, after another 12 months, their fortunes have not improved, these youths may feel depressed and stressed by their perceived stagnation.

Poor planning

Parents in the city and other urban centres are not spared from the stress either. The responsibility of providing a decent lifestyle for themselves and that of their dependents’ is no easy task. Once basic needs are met, humans,  according to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, will always crave for more.

The desire for additional experiences often comes with price tags that many fail to consider before hand. Driven by the impulse to bolster their image, keep up with their peers, and meet the assumed expectations of their family members, parents sometimes embark on spending sprees without a solid financial plan and little regard for the financial demands they will face afterwards.

The financial stress that comes from poor planning is particularly evident in January. After the December holiday season, Kenyans often struggle to meet recurring expenses. This is the time when students need school fees, and landlords and landladies are demanding rent payments.

Few adults have mastered the art of planning for these crucial non-monthly expenses. To illustrate this, the insurance sector offers several solutions to cover non-monthly costs such as school fees, benevolent covers, health insurance, and other risks.

According to Association of Kenya Insurers (AKI) report of 2023, insurance penetration in Kenya at the time was meagre 2.43 percent of the GDP. 

Every January is marketed by notable financial distress for many families, which, in turn, ripples through the macro economy, affecting several businesses as well.

Loneliness also affects many in the society. Paramours (mpango-wa-kando) face the harsh reality when their beloved ones depart to spend time with their true beloved ones during the December festive season. Friends are separated from friends, colleagues from other colleagues, and the fortunate from the unlucky.

Social media influence

Social media exacerbates the situation, as the experiences of the fortunate are easily broadcast for all to see. The December holiday brings significant financial stress, as families expect special treatment, gifts, clothes and vehicles to take them to their rural homes or holiday destinations. All of these requires money.

Families will need to buy bulls, chickens, goats and sheep for slaughter along with fish, pilau, rice, chapati and other special foods on December 12, December 25, December 26 and January 1, all of which come with a hefty price tag.

Those without proper structures, good rural homes may need to build new houses before their trips to the village adding to the financial burden. In the face of high taxes,  economic downturns, job retrenchments, pay cuts and economic hardships and high unemployment, the result is often serious stress and

“We may look successful and happy on the outside, yet still be overwhelmed and struggling inside. The financial demands associated with holiday festivities usually trigger fear, anxiety, phobia, stress, and depression. These are normal mental health challenges. We all have mental health, just as we have physical health,” says Susan Kibe, a psychologist, counsellor, and an ACK preacher.

Holiday stress affects men, women, and children alike, as there is a significant demand and little money to meet the needs of families dependent on the primary breadwinners.

This will always have a negative impact on households. Failure to meet financial demands, obligations, and responsibilities has led to family breakdowns, separations, divorces, among other negative consequences that often accompany financial strain or insufficint funds.

So, how can one cope with holiday stress? Kibe advises taking a break from busy holiday schedules allowing time to rest and relax. This should be accompanied by activities that one enjoys the most. She also recommends exercising more to help relax the mind.

Movement activates hormones and neurotransmitters associated with happiness, such as endorphins and serotonin. Nutrition plays an important role in relieving stress, and it’s recommended to eat a balanced diet. Increasing your intake of vegetables, milk, and fruits, as well as consuming more plant-based foods, can help. It’s also important to increase your water intake — at least two litres a day.

Balanced life

 Kibe says water clears the system and the brain, revealing that 70 percent of brain mass is made up of water. “Enjoy fresh air and sunshine. This will improve your sleep, which is necessary for cell regeneration and rejuvenation. Live a balanced life. Work -life balance. Don’t overdo anything, including exercise and play. Maintain temperance,” notes the ACK counsellor. She adds, “Don’t overthink about how, when, and where you will get the rent and school fees in January once the December holiday is over.”

“Engage in hobbies — watch movies, read books, write stories, drink a glass of wine before or after a meal, and have sex to relieve stress. Seek social support from friends, family, like-minded people, and progressive groups. If you let holiday stress overwhelm you with endless thoughts, sadness, and frustration, the stress and depression will persist and will definitely bring you down,” says  Kibe.

She advises that this is where professional support from a psychological counsellor or psychiatrist is crucial. “It’s just as normal as a visit to your doctor,” she adds.

“If you are filled with anger and stress, you create more suffering for yourself than for anyone else. So, you must first bring peace into yourself. When you are calm and lucid, you will see that the other person is a victim of confusion, hate, and violence transmitted by the environment. When you’re able to see that, your anger will no longer be there,” says the psychologist.

She observes that there are many factors contributing to holiday stress, including unrealistic expectations, financial pressures, and excessive commitments, all of which can cause stress and anxiety during the festive season.

“Some people may feel anxiously depressed around the holidays due to seasonal affective disorder (SAD), leading to excessive drinking, overeating, and insomnia—some of the possible consequences of poorly managed holiday stress. Those suffering from holiday anxiety, depression, or stress can benefit from increased social support during this time of year,” she notes.

Sources of stress

Counselling or support groups can also be beneficial. In addition to being an important step in preventing the symptoms of SAD, regular exposure to bright light, particularly fluorescent lights, significantly improves depression in people with SAD.

According to Walter Odede Nyakwaka, the CEO of Africa Alive, Kenya chapter, setting realistic goals and expectations, reaching out to friends, sharing tasks with family members, finding inexpensive ways to enjoy yourself, and helping others can help one overcome holiday stress.

The holiday season, with celebrations such as Christmas, Hanukkah, and Thanksgiving, is for many a fun time of the year, filled with parties and social gatherings with family and friends. But for many, it can be a time filled with sadness, self-reflection, loneliness, and anxiety. Symptoms of anxiety include feelings of apprehension and fear, often accompanied by physical symptoms such as heart palpitations, sweating, irritability, and stress. Sadness, on the other hand, is a personal feeling. What makes one person feel sad may not affect another.

Typical sources of holiday sadness include stress, fatigue, unrealistic expectations, over-commercialisation, financial strain, the inability to be with loved ones, and, in addition to sadness, many people experience holiday anxiety or stress, particularly when they feel unable to cope with the demands placed upon them.

“Non-human animals react to the changing seasons with changes in mood and behaviour. People change behaviour as well when there is less sunlight,” says Odede. For some, however, the symptoms are severe enough to disrupt their lives and cause considerable distress.

Sadness or depression during the holiday season can be a reaction to the stresses and demands of the season. In other cases, people may feel depressed due to seasonal affective disorder (SAD), also known as seasonal depression. This type of depression occurs as the days grow shorter toward the holiday season.

Risk factors for depression, anxiety, and stress during the holidays include having a mood disorder, experiencing depression at other times of the year, and lacking adequate social support.

Other risk factors can include recent trauma, life changes, excessive alcohol consumption, or concurrent illness. Financial troubles can also increase one’s susceptibility to anxiety or stress during the holidays.

Stressful family situations and illness in the family are also predisposing factors, psychologists and psychiatrists note.

“Essentially, any factor that can cause depression, stress, or anxiety in an individual can worsen these conditions during the holidays. Balancing the demands of shopping, parties, family obligations, and house guests can contribute to feelings of being overwhelmed and increased tension.

People who do not view themselves as depressed may develop stress responses, leading to physical and emotional symptoms such as headaches, excessive drinking, overeating, and insomnia. Others may experience post-holiday sadness after New Year’s. This can result from built-up expectations and disappointments from the previous year, coupled with stress and fatigue,” says Odede.

In the case of seasonal affective disorder or a true depressive disorder, symptoms may persist beyond the holidays or may be more severe.

The symptoms of seasonal affective disorder include tiredness, fatigue, depression, crying spells, mood swings, irritability, trouble concentrating, body aches, loss of sex drive, decreased activity levels, and overeating (especially of carbohydrates), which often leads to weight gain.

A simple history and physical exam may be all that is needed to diagnose holiday blues. Odede Nyakwaka adds that your healthcare professional may perform lab tests or other exams to rule out medical conditions that may be causing your symptoms.

Holiday blues

A full history of your symptoms will likely provide clues to help distinguish a mild case of holiday blues from sad or a more serious, chronic depressive disorder. Anxiety, depression, and stress can be treated by various medical and mental health professionals,” says the Kenyatta University-trained scientist. Medical doctors, including family medicine physicians, often treat holiday depression.

According to Kibe, psychiatrists are medical doctors with special training in treating mental and emotional conditions. Many other types of mental health professionals, including psychologists, social workers, mental health counsellors, marital and family therapists, nurse psychotherapists, psychiatric or mental health nurse practitioners, and others, may treat these conditions.

Those suffering from any type of holiday depression or stress may benefit from increased social support during this time of year. For uncomplicated holiday blues, improvement may be found by reducing the stresses associated with the season, such as limiting commitments and outside activities, sharing family responsibilities like gift shopping and meal preparation, agreeing on financial limits for purchases, or taking extra time to rest and rejuvenate.

Counselling or support groups can provide another layer of support during the holiday season. “Knowing that others feel the same way and sharing your thoughts and experiences can help manage troubling feelings. Support groups also provide a further layer of social support during this vulnerable time.”

In addition to being an important step in preventing the symptoms of seasonal affective disorder, regular exposure to bright light, particularly fluorescent lights, has been shown to significantly improve depression in people with SAD.

Counseling and support groups

Phototherapy is commercially available in the form of light boxes, which are used for approximately 30 minutes daily. The light required must be of sufficient brightness, approximately 25 times as bright as a normal living room light.

The light treatment is most effective when used in the morning and evening. Medications can also be an effective treatment for seasonal affective disorder. As with all cases of depression, suicide or self-harm is a possible complication when severe.

Fortunately, holiday depression and stress can be well managed by following the tips listed above and seeking out social support. Counselling and support groups can be beneficial when symptoms become too overwhelming.

Seasonal affective disorder generally responds well to bright light therapy (phototherapy), and for some, medications may effectively relieve symptoms.

The following tips can help prevent stress, anxiety, and mild depression associated with the holiday season: Make realistic expectations for the holiday season. Set realistic goals for yourself, pace yourself, and avoid taking on more responsibilities than you can handle. Make a list and prioritise important activities to make holiday tasks more manageable.

Be realistic about what you can and cannot do. Don’t place all your energy into just one day (eg, Thanksgiving or New Year’s Eve). The holiday cheer can be spread across multiple events throughout the season. Live in the moment and enjoy the present. Look to the future with optimism and avoid comparing today with the “good old days” of the past.

If you’re feeling lonely, try volunteering some of your time to help others. Find holiday activities that are free, such as looking at holiday decorations or going window shopping without buying. Limit your alcohol consumption, as excessive drinking will only increase feelings of depression.

Try something new this holiday season. Spend time with supportive and caring people. Reach out to make new friends. Take time to reconnect with long-lost friends or relatives and spread some holiday cheer. Make time for yourself! Let others share the responsibilities of holiday tasks, and keep track of your holiday spending. Overspending can lead to depression when the bills arrive after the holidays, adding to stress and potentially triggering further depression.