Fourteen-year-old Wanjiku*, a pupil at Ngewe Primary School in Kiambu County, has been sternly advised by her mother not to have boys for friends.

But Madam Judy Sadia, the school Principal, is opposed to this advise.

 “It is not the best of advice. A girl can have boys as friends. The advice should be that the girl must know what to do when a boy or a man entices her into a relationship that might violate her as child,” she says.

Wanjiku’s mother is among the parents who may not have the knowledge and skills to effectively handle sexuality education or just don’t have the temerity to broach the subject.

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Preliminary findings from an ongoing study by Tsingua University (THU) in partnership with a local university in Nairobi’s informal settlements – including Kibera and Mathare slums – shows that between 70 to 80 per cent of parents are aloof on lessons to dispense on sex and sexuality.

“Many of them do not have the right knowledge to convey and some do not know how to convey it. Some parents are religious or beholden to traditions and do not even see it as an important aspect of parenting,” says Dr James Munyao, a Public Health researcher and a member of the team carrying out the study.

At an event last August, during the launch of Afya Kesho, an initiative meant to improve adolescent health education in Kenya, Professor Kun Tang of THU said, “We know there are a lot of issues that adolescents are going through: their sexual and reproductive health, menstruation, and their mental health as well. This project is meant to establish greater understanding on effective ways to provide them with the necessary age-appropriate information innovatively.”

Afya Kesho is being implemented by Innovation for Health Equity in Africa (IHEA), a local non-governmental organisation, and is financed by Full Care – a healthcare company inside Tatu City, and Yi-Energy Minority Assistance Foundation (YEMAF), a Chinese humanitarian organisation dedicated to community education and health.

Advising Kenyan parents, 16-year-old Yiping Lu of YEMAF, said, “Some parents might feel shy talking about these issues. But, as a young person myself, parents are best placed to talk to us. Personally, everything I know about my body and menstruation was taught to me by my parents. It is true that we learn physiology in school. But at home we will be taught sex and sexuality. We trust parents far more than anyone else.”

The National Adolescent Sexual and Reproductive Health Policy of 2015 advocates for Age-Appropriate Comprehensive Sexuality Education (CSE).

“The CBC curriculum supports CSE. In pre-school, we teach the children body parts – and introduce them to private parts.. From Grades 1 to 3, we reinforce the knowledge further, insisting that they should speak up or scream when a person attempts to touch their private parts or does anything unwelcome to them, says Sadia.

“In Grades 4 and 5 we introduce sexuality, and attractions between boys and girls. In Grade 6 we go deeper into reproductive health. We add special emphasis on menstruation, hygiene and pregnancy,” the school principal adds.

But even with all the lessons Sadia and her teachers try to instill, Ngewe has seen some of its adolescent girls fall into the early pregnancy trap.

“We’ve had quite a few girls falling pregnant. I blame the lapse back at home. I think many parents are too busy for their children,” she explains.

Providing adolescents with adequate knowledge of their sexual and reproductive health needs an approach that must involve parents, with all hands on deck, according to Prof Tang.

Prof Tammary Esho specialises in sexual and reproductive health and gender-based violence. She says, “There has been a misunderstanding about the concept of CSE. People (parents) believe – wrongly – that CSE is teaching children (how to practice) LGBTQ and (have) sex and (incur) abortion”.

She adds, “Yet if we are to experience change – especially on matters of adolescent pregnancies – we must give children and adolescents age-appropriate education on human sexuality.

Prof. Esho says that if a parent is not sure what would be age-appropriate, they can follow cues from their children.

“You can sense the kind of lessons a child needs by listening to what they say or ask. Like for instance when they ask where children come from,” she explains.