On November 19, the world will mark International Men’s Day. This year’s theme focuses on better health for men and boys as well as positive male role models. The theme reiterates the importance of improving the health and wellbeing of men and boys, as part of broader efforts to promote better health for all. It is about raising awareness on men’s well-being, socially, emotionally, mentally and physically.  

This year’s celebration comes at a time when governments and development partners are keenly focused on gender equity and equality. Unfortunately, many people have come to equate gender empowerment to the empowerment of women and girls rather than the socio-economic and political empowerment of men and boys, women and girls. This perception has had devastating outcomes, key among which is the risk of marginalising men resulting in demoralised, mentally ill men and boys across communities.

As we celebrate this year’s International Men’s Day, it is important to note that both men and women are key players in the process of building healthy households, communities and nations. The unique contributions of both men and women are core to the achievement of sustainable social, economic and political development.

One of the major contributing factors to the disenfranchisement of men is flawed cultural norms that continuously stereotype boys and men as ‘strong’ and perpetuate toxic masculinity. When boys are socialised from a young age to shut up and deal with life’s challenges ‘like men’, they are likely to grow up believing that real men do not express emotions or seek help when faced with difficulties. The result is a generation of men who seek solace in harmful practices, including drugs and crime as a way of coping with life.

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Healthy societies begin with the realisation that the well-being of men and boys is a collective responsibility. It begins with the challenging of harmful stereotypes that encourage men to embrace beliefs and practices that hurt their mental and physical health. Parents should be brave enough to go against myths and taboos that expose their young boys to toxicity masked as strength. Encourage young boys to speak up and seek help when they feel overwhelmed by life’s struggles. Provide role models that can mentor boys to manhood in a healthy manner that advocates for dialogue and the utilisation of available resources to improve not only their own well-being but also that of the communities they live.

Gender equality advocates need to champion for all-inclusive policies and programmes that include gender-specific responses to socio-economic development issues. When the development agenda responds to the needs of both men and women the community’s perception of gender empowerment will change for the better. Further, we need to advocate for healthy communication styles within relationships to foster positive, empathetic dynamics within families.

Many men are socialised to mistake being macho for being rude, demanding and disrespectful, while girls are expected to be quiet and non-assertive. Consequently, men who are courteous, empathetic and respectful are considered weak while assertive women are frowned upon. These gender stereotypes contribute greatly to the breakdown of relationships and families, particularly due to Gender Based Violence (GBV). The lack of support mechanisms for male GBV survivors discourages men from reporting for fear of not being believed, further victimising them.

We need to support men to identify and utilise healthy coping mechanisms, regardless of societal expectations. Encourage men to find a healthy work-life balance by setting healthy boundaries. Many men are under pressure to perform and deliver societal expectations, leading to challenges related to overwork and eventual burnout.

The media - both traditional and digital - should increase content that redefines masculinity and help society repaint the profile of a man from toxic, condescending and harmfully ‘strong’ to a person who is kind, emotionally available and seeks support when he needs it. Toxic masculinity is socially constructed and needs social re-engineering to eradicate it. Collectively, society should take conscious steps to ensure that young boys are socialised to take up responsibilities without sabotaging their own well-being.

Prof Waudo is the Director, the Centre for Gender Equality and Empowerment, and Leader, of Kenyatta University Women’s Economic Empowerment Hub