Who said fathers don’t like to be pampered?

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By Anne Anjao-Eboi

According to recent research, more phone calls are placed on Mother’s Day than any other day.

Many mothers across the globe receive tonnes of hugs, kisses, and material as well as spiritual blessings. Almost everyone in my social network has glowing tributes for their beloved mothers.

Not so for fathers. You need to peer closely to see scattered messages acknowledging fathers. This is a tragedy. A tragedy because God puts fatherhood so high up on the list of important positions in life. Why are people not as sentimental when it comes to fathers? Myriad reasons are advanced concerning this sorry state of affairs.

To some, fathers are mean with their time, preferring to gratify themselves in pubs, or with newspapers and football, instead of helping a child with homework or bonding.

Others have been accused of being too brutal to their wives. Some children who watch their mother being battered are traumatised so much that there is no love lost between them and their fathers.

It need not be this way; we can do something.

The first step is forgiveness. I know some fathers have done despicable or even embarrassing things, but we need to realise that two wrongs do not make a right.

Have you ever considered that we are the product of our environment and that your father must have watched his mother being battered for him to develop into a batterer? Your father could be a hopeless drunk because he grew up in an environment full of alcohol and all the evils associated with it.

Love overcomes evil. Let bygones be bygones. Send him that text message on Father’s Day. Honour him on your Twitter or Facebook page. Take him out to an exotic restaurant. You may have nothing to say to each other, but this gesture may change him positively.

Wholesale condemnation of fathers is not the solution. We need as many fathers as possible playing their roles.

When I was a high school teacher in a boys’ secondary school, I noticed that I had never met the mothers of certain boys because it was always ‘Daddy’ who showed up for school events.

And these boys never disappointed. They were the prefects. They were dependable. They passed their Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education exams with flying colours and today, they are pursuing worthy careers.

I recall one such student whose parents came to talk to him. His father had been diagnosed with cancer and had his leg amputated. The parents had come to the school because they knew their son was going through psychological torture.

After the father had explained the situation, the three of us tried our best to encourage the boy. The man then requested me and his wife to leave the room because he wanted to speak to his son alone.

When we came back, the boy was glowing and the warmth between the two was obvious.

Sadly, a couple of months later, the cancer reappeared and quickly took the life of this wonderful parent who had obviously bonded with his son.

Let us honour our fathers as commanded by God. Who knows what good will come of it?