Okonkwo weeps as canes are banned in schools

“And Okonkwo wept!” read the text from Schola. The principal had just supervised the burning of the last cane in the school compound. Paying heed to a directive that there should be no canes within the school compound, he had instructed the messenger to comb the entire compound and collect any found lying around.

An earlier attempt to rid the school of canes had failed.

Okonkwo too hadn’t destroyed his, which he kept safely in his office. It was when the messenger reminded him about it that he reluctantly handed it over while commenting that it had helped ‘panel beat’ a number of ‘waheshimiwa’ and senior people.

Schola swears that she saw a tear run down Okonkwo’s cheek the moment he saw it go up in flames. “I wonder what happened to the Solomonic wisdom of sparing the rod and spoiling the child,” exclaimed Vasco Da Gama.

A raft of measures aimed at averting strikes in the volatile second term have unsettled many school principals. Some are considering early retirement. The habit of TSC and ministry officials descending on schools unannounced, in the style of Nikolai Gogol’s ‘Government Inspector’, has made matters worse. Last week after attending a meeting at the county education headquarters, Okonkwo called for an emergency staff briefing.

High on the agenda was the decongestion of dorms and getting rid of triple-decker beds. Annete’s idea of putting up prefabricated structures was dismissed as time-consuming.

Okonkwo was of the view that teachers housed in the school compound with no direct roles in relation to boarding should surrender their houses for conversion into dormitories.

“Mwalimu, your house is spacious enough to accommodate one hundred boarders with enough space for the boarding master,” suggested Aeneas. The principal glared at him.

In line with C.S Matiang’i’s directive, the principal told students to hold meetings and make suggestions on what changes they would like to see at Meta Meta. The result was a long list. Through Clemo of 3G, they wanted entry and midterm exams scrapped and entertainment to run from Friday evening to Sunday night.

“As you know, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” he said. “Eggs and sausages should be factored to the breakfast menu while 10 o’clock tea should be accompanied with three slices of bread or a ‘ngumu’, he reported.

“Bwana principal, something should be done about lunch. We are tired of crushing murram like posho mills,” shouted a form one boy. “We also need hot showers since we are headed for the cold season,” concluded Clemo to a round of loud cheers.

The issue of CCTV cameras was explored during the emergency staff brief. Thunder, sensing an opportunity to mint money, had wanted to supply the school with dogs. “We are not talking about village mongrels here, but about well-trained sniffer dogs able to detect drugs in students’ boxes!” snorted Okonkwo.

Some teachers have also been warning students against giving any information to strangers. “Wewe Maggie na hiyo kiherehere yako, mtu akikuuliza kama mnalipa tuition umwambie mzazi ndio anajua wewe hulipi fees. Ukisema vitu zingine hao watu wakienda utaniona! (Maggie and your cheekiness, if anybody asks whether you pay any extra tuition, you should say you don’t know since it’s the parents who pay fees. Dare reveal anything and you will ‘see’ once the visitors go!), Donatta threatened her class.