When did Valentine's Day become a spending contest?

When did Valentine’s Day  become a spending contest? (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

Most of my female friends are getting hysterical about how much their men are going to spend on them on St Valentine’s night. What happened to love and romance and just enjoying each other’s company? Or am I missing something?

Big Spenders

Chris says,

Hi Big Spenders!

Some men appear willing to spend a considerable amount of money on their girlfriends. And for sure, some women find that very attractive. In fact, they make it abundantly clear that they won’t have any sort of relationship with a man who doesn’t shower them with gifts and cash!

But such couples are rarely together for long. Joyful, long-lasting relationships are based on mutual respect, real physical affection, and a willingness to commit unconditionally to each other. No matter what life may throw at both of you.

And that never happens when a relationship’s centred around money and possessions. Whether it’s the woman who’s demanding them, or the man who’s providing them just so she’ll be with him. Usually, the motives of both are entirely transactional, and the relationship comes to an abrupt end when some disaster strikes. Like when his money runs out, or she spots someone richer!

So let those money-driven couples enjoy their extravagant St Valentine’s dates. They probably won’t be together for the next one.

Having said all that, your boyfriend should always be doing nice things for you. Especially simple and inexpensive things like bringing you flowers, looking after you when you’re tired, helping with the chores and so on. And of course planning something memorable and romantic for your St Valentine’s Day! 

Because successful couples always feel a deep and instinctive need to support and help each other, in all those ways that show they’re going to have a very happy life together. Including being romantic and building lovely memories. So if your friends always seem to be in relationships that are one-sided or based on money, then either they’re not meeting the right sort of men, or they’re not looking for the right sort of relationship!

All the best,

Chris