Make socialising easier with these tips

Make socialising easier with these tips (Photo: iStock)

Hi Chris,

I find socialising so stressful! My friends and colleagues all seem to love chatting, and even networking with strangers! But I don’t. How can I make social situations easier?

Stressed Socialite

Chris says,

Hi Stressed Socialite!

Lots of people are uncomfortable talking to other people, especially strangers. Fortunately, there are lots of techniques that make everything much easier.

Like telling yourself that you already like someone you’ve just met. Just that thought alone will hugely improve your unconscious body language, and you’ll both enjoy yourselves more.

People will warm to you more quickly if you subtly match their body language and speaking style. And if you replay key points of their conversation in your own words, they’ll think you’re really interested in them and a good listener.

Check whether they’re following your conversation by changing your position slightly. If they’re paying attention, they’ll mimic your move. Figure out who likes who by watching who they look at when they’re laughing. People instinctively look at the one they feel closest to when they laugh.

Disturbing a group in the middle of their conversation often works out badly. So as they notice you approaching, watch how they react. If only their heads move, it means you’re interrupting something. Walk on by like you never intended to join them. But if their feet turn towards you, it means you are welcome.

Do you have difficulty remembering names? The moment you’re introduced, repeat their name and go on using it throughout the conversation. They’ll also think that you’re showing a very positive interest in them.

Don’t feel embarrassed by pauses. So if you ask a question and don’t get a complete answer, just wait. Chances are they’ll continue, and you’ll end up getting what you want.

People rarely remember the details of a conversation. But they always remember how you made them feel. So communicate enthusiasm, excitement, and humour. Look confident, even if you’re not, with good posture and direct eye contact. Show lots of interest in your companion, and before you know it, you’ll have made a new friend.

All the best,

Chris