From doormat to diva: How to reclaim your power in 2025

A woman thinking. (Courtesy)

Welcome to 2025! A fresh start, a new calendar, and another chance to decide you’re absolutely not auditioning for the role of doormat in your relationship. Sure, relationships are about compromise, understanding, and love, but let’s not confuse those noble virtues with being a spineless jellyfish that says, “Yes, dear” to everything, including things you don’t even understand.

So, how do you reclaim your dignity and walk into the New Year with your head high, your self-respect intact, and zero tolerance for nonsense? Let’s dive into it, with just the right dose of sarcasm to remind you that being a pushover is so last season.

First things first: Identify your inner doormat. Recognise the signs. Are you the type who agrees to your partner’s every whim, even when their “great idea” involves binge-watching their favourite series for the third time while you long for anything else—even infomercials? Do you find yourself saying, “It’s fine” when it’s so clearly not fine that even your dog knows you’re lying? If yes, congratulations! You’ve found your inner doormat. But don’t despair; identifying the problem is the first step toward solving it. This year, we’re turning that doormat into a welcome sign that says, “Enter with respect or not at all.”

You need to stop saying “yes” to everything. The overuse of “yes” is a gateway drug to full-blown doormat syndrome. Your partner wants to drag you to a midnight screening of their favourite obscure 1970s sci-fi movie? You don’t have to go! They want you to hand-wash their “delicate” socks because the washing machine is “too rough” on them? Nope, not your circus, not your smelly monkeys.

Set boundaries, then guard them like a dragon protecting gold. Boundaries are your best friends in 2025. Think of them as velvet ropes around the most exclusive nightclub in town: You. If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries, they don’t get in.

For example, if you need 30 minutes of peace after work before engaging in relationship chit-chat, make that known. And when your partner inevitably tries to breach the peace with a “quick question” about what’s for dinner, channel your inner bouncer: “Sorry, the kitchen is closed until 7 p.m.”

Demand reciprocity. Relationships are about give-and-take, not give-and-give-until-you’re-exhausted-and-questioning-your-life-choices. If you’re always the one doing the dishes, planning the date nights, paying all the bills, it’s time to stop.

Here’s a revolutionary idea: Ask them to step up. If that feels awkward, you can always frame it humorously. “Hey, I’ve been hogging all the fun of scrubbing pots. It’s your turn to join the party.” Call out double standards. One of the hallmarks of being a doormat is tolerating double standards. Does your partner insist on having “me time” while guilt-tripping you for wanting the same? Do they expect gourmet meals from you while they contribute “instant noodles” to the culinary arts?

Call it out. Calmly. Sarcastically, if needed. “Oh, so ‘me time’ is essential for your mental health, but optional for mine? Fascinating. Tell me more about this revolutionary new theory.”

If you’ve been holding back from speaking your mind, because you fear confrontation, it’s time to stop. Communication is the backbone of any healthy relationship, and that includes communicating your dislikes, annoyances, and outright grievances. If you’re running on empty, you can’t give your best to your partner or the relationship. So, take time for yourself without guilt. Whether it’s a yoga class, a solo Netflix binge, or simply sitting in a quiet room staring into space, do what you need to recharge.

Finally, make a pact with yourself: You will not, under any circumstances, tolerate being treated like an afterthought, a servant, or a convenience. Not this year, not ever. Say it with me now: “I am not a doormat. I am a dynamic, complex individual who deserves love and respect.”

So, dust off that doormat energy and step boldly into 2025.