Metropolis, a pie in the sky

By Paul NgothoMy knee-jerk reaction on learning that farmers at Isinya in Kajiado were objecting to their land being included in the Metropolis was typical — enemies of development! Now I know how little my knowledge was and salute the pastoralists for figuring out the puzzle so fast while the intelligentsia were still pondering how many zeroes made a trillion. The farmers were reportedly being supported by foreign funded NGOs but so would be the metropolis. To be fair, the office-type know a thing or two about urban life that the villagers have overlooked. It would take 21 years just to carpet existing earth roads within the current city and to re-carpet the tarmac roads. We might throw in a new sewer system. We might even have some water in the kitchen sink, eureka! Or unblock the storm drains along the roads, weather allowing. With the promised climate change, it might not be necessary to clear the drains as there will be no rains. We must demand a Ministry of Climate Change when the principals renegotiate the Coalition Government. Matter of urgencyThe most impressive thing about the metropolis is its sheer size — 32,000 square kilometres. Please indulge several illustrations for the benefit of those who lack numerical imagination. That is the area of a circle with a diameter of 200 kilometres or the distance equivalent to that from Nairobi to Kiganjo. It is irregular in shape, according to a map rather laboriously entitled the ‘Spacial Extend of the Nairobi Metropolitan’. No words are spared or edited.At its widest point, the metropolis will be 300km. It seems like the overriding philosophy was "the more the merrier". One will need a helicopter or something faster just to check the city boundary. The curvature of the earth does not allow one, even with a telescope, to see the projected city boundaries from the Metropolitan Ministry offices on the 26th floor of KICC. To do so, we must extend the building by at least 100 storeys as a matter of urgency.When implemented, the metropolis will extend to Kimende, Githunguri, Masinga Dam, Machakos, Magadi, Konza, Kajiando, Sultan Hamud and Emali towns. The boundary is just 15kms shy of Makindu on Mombasa Road. To the south, it will run past Kajiado to Namanga and will have a 230km frontage on the Kenya-Tanzania border all the way down to Mt Kilimanjaro. People coming from Tanzania will be in Nairobi the minute they cross the border. It seems the planners would have gone even further down were it not for the inconvenience caused by that border. In fact our metro could do with Arusha to round off the southern boundary, which now looks rather abrupt. How come nobody thought of that? Metro askaris would only need a few jet fighters and some of the newly acquired battle-hardened tanks to patrol Kenya’s new metropolis border. No wonder Tanzanians are worried that Kenyans concocted the East African Community as a grand scheme purely for the purpose of grabbing their land. Looking at the map of the metro, those fears are well grounded. Money-back guaranteeDealers of the exclusive luxurious Rolls Royce car have a way of identifying time wasters. A caller who asks the price cannot afford it. Well, the metropolis comes with a price tag of upwards of Sh33.2 trillion, according to the minister in charge. To know the true cost of a civil project in Kenya, multiply the highest estimate by two. Deduct 50 per cent, if all the funds are readily available. The cost would have been much higher if it wasn’t for the foresight of the planners who left a stonewall to mark the 800km city boundary. That alone has saved us Sh7.5 million. But they should not cut any other corners if we are to enjoy a world class African metropolis. We can definitely afford the costs as the metro will be a major tourist attraction. Visitors will be coming from all over the world to see the 8th Wonder of the World. Last but not least, I would like to know if the metropolis comes with a money-back guarantee just in case it becomes a white elephant stuck in a mud hole stretching from the Aberdares to the highest mountain in Africa. A lumpsum refund in 2030 would be a boost in my retirement plan.The writer is a chartered surveyor and practising valuer.

Metropolis, a pie in the sky

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