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Hi Chris,
My husband says that I do not understand him! However, I think that we are pretty happy together, and I know him very well. Might there be things that I am missing?
Misunderstood
Chris says,
Hi Misunderstood!
I am sure you do know your husband, probably very well, but there are some things about a man's life that very few women truly understand, no matter how hard they try. Like just how much winning means to a man.
Because his whole life's about jostling for position among men. Like when a bunch of men talk together, there is always a sharp edge to their conversation. And every comment has a hidden meaning: "I am better than you!"
Men's lives centre around competence and achievement, and they think of themselves in terms of what they do. While women's revolve around love, communication and emotions, and they think of themselves in terms of their relationships.
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And in a marriage, men are motivated by feeling needed, while women want to feel loved and cherished.
He wants you to be proud of him, and to appreciate him for what he is, not for what you wish he was.
He wants to feel proud of you, so dress up when you are out together. It may sound superficial, but men do not only love a woman for her inner qualities.
Men hate being shouted at, so do not hit him with a crisis every time he walks through the door. And whining never works. Love cannot survive constant complaints.
And most wives simply do not understand their husband's need for sex. It is not about frequency, it is about enthusiasm. He wants you to enjoy intimacy. He wants you to be freakier in bed.
He is longing to see you naked in the moonlight. He wants you to go out with him commando. So throw a few of your inhibitions out of the window. He won't pester you for sex every day if he remembers the last time all week!
Above all, always be pleased when your husband snuggles up to you because that way he will never think about going anywhere else!
All the best,
Chris
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