Hi Chris,
Everyone at work knows I’m married, but there’s a guy who all my colleagues call my work husband. Nothing goes on, just a lot of coffee and talking, but he makes me feel good and I think about him a lot.
So how do I get my colleagues to back off?
Work Husband
Chris says,
Hi Work Husband!
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Nothing has happened yet, but there’s trouble ahead. These days, infidelities often start as work friendships, because all the time teammates spend working together creates an emotional bond that’s hard for a spouse to compete with.
So coffee breaks gradually become working lunches, and conversations drift into the deeply personal. Add a few drinks after work and the odd business trip, and suddenly you’re naked between the sheets.
Your colleagues’ comments show that your behaviour is already giving you away. You smile more, dress better and find excuses to be together. You feel appreciated, and soon you’ll be wondering what it would be like to be a couple. And you will begin to feel a growing distance between you and your husband.
He’s probably already started to notice. You’re spending more time apart, having far less sex and no fun. You’re only together when you’re tired, distant and snappy, while at work you’re smartly dressed, on your best behaviour and excited.
Until one day your husband confronts you and suddenly you realise how much your marriage really means to you.
It’s better not to go there and react to the hints you get from your colleagues. Who, by the way, is a bit annoyed by your behaviour?
It’s normal to be attracted to other people, not a sign that you’re in the wrong relationship. So start spending more time with your husband and share your inner feelings again. Reconnect sexually, be more appreciative and say something nice to him every day.
Meanwhile, gently re-establish some professional boundaries with your colleague without hurting his feelings. You’ll be surprised how quickly your attraction to him will fade.
All the best,
Chris