The raging debate can go on and on about who suffers most after divorce. Is it the children? The woman? Or man?
In the virtue of a disagreement between couples with divorce looming, most would agree that children often suffer the most but women are often disproportionately affected by disputes, particularly in areas such as marital and family conflicts, inheritance, and property rights.
Mediation can provide a safe and supportive environment for women to resolve these disputes more amicably and less painlessly.
Marital issues account for a significant percentage of disputes requiring mediation. According to various studies, up to 40 per cent of disputes resolved through mediation are matrimonial.
It is because of this worrying trend, along with the many other types of disputes in society, that Evelyn Bright calls for alternative dispute resolution as a form of mediation.
The president of the Certified Mediators and Advisory (CMA) group says alternative dispute resolution mechanisms such as mediation and arbitration can help reduce the backlog of cases in the courts and provide a more personalised approach to dispute resolution.
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But the CMA is not just about women and disputes and providing alternative dispute resolution mechanisms. The organisation pushes the boundaries by bringing together teams of professionals from diverse backgrounds in society, training mediators from all backgrounds and working with groups, individuals, associations, NGOs and all other forms of formations to help disputing parties resolve conflicts through the use of specialised communication and negotiation techniques.
With a background in Management and Leadership, International Relations, Economics and Aviation, Evelyn has now turned her attention to what she believes is her calling; bringing together mediators across Africa to resolve conflicts with ease, while promoting a more harmonious and peaceful society.
“Mostly when it comes to family conflicts, land disputes, workplace disputes, contract bridging and other non-criminal disputes - which require the enforcement of criminal law - I believe that mediation is the best way to handle these cases. They can indeed be dealt with on the ground without appearing in courts,” says Evelyn.
Evelyn says that in the past, mediation services may not have been considered professional, but times have changed. With the increasing complexity of disputes and the need for specialist expertise, she believes it’s essential to professionalise mediation services to ensure that mediators have the necessary training, skills and experience to resolve disputes effectively.
Next month, the CMA will welcome hundreds of delegates to a two-day conference with keynote speakers on ‘Building a Trusted Social, Political and Diplomatic System of ADR through Mediation’. It will be led by Evelyn and her Kenyan team.
This is the first conference of its kind to be held in Kenya since the adoption of the 2010 Constitution, which allows the judiciary to explore and promote alternative dispute resolution mechanisms, including mediation - which is now a form of professional service. The conference workshops will involve youth groups, women and children, as well as social workers, teachers, doctors, engineers, media and social networks.
“The idea here will be to introduce mediation to the audience as we engage through different sectoral groups and workshops. The conference will lay the foundation for building a culture of dialogue, understanding and peaceful conflict resolution throughout the region. It will also be a forum that will mark an annual dialogue where citizens can discuss, engage and resolve long-standing and burning issues with government leaders in a friendly dialogue,” says Evelyn.
Growing up, the mediation pioneer never saw herself in the face of justice. Although her father saw her gift and urged her to pursue a career in law, she resisted his call and chose a different path.
“As I went through this journey of life, I got to know myself better as well as my calling. From personal experience and family responsibilities I found myself in the centre of the ‘judiciary’ in so many conflict matters for so many years. Through this, I learnt that litigation can never bring peace and harmony no matter how much justice is saved,” says Evelyn.
“Women - who bear the heaviest brunt of suffering and the most painful wounds of victimisation in conflicts - have perspectives and aspirations that are critical to sustainable conflict resolution and effective nation-building. They are not just victims, they are solution-makers. Their pain gives them unique insights on which to build the foundations for sustainable peace and nation-building,” said H.E. Graça Machel in her speech at the International Dialogue Centre (KAICIID) - Global Forum on “Transformative Dialogue: Building Alliances for Peace in a Rapidly Changing World” in Lisbon mid this year.
Madame Graça Machel, who is President of FDC, Mozambique, Chair of the Board of Trustees of Accord, and Co-Founder and Vice-Chair of The Elders, said that governments must create spaces to listen to and respect the different voices, different intonations and different octaves of women’s perspectives to enjoy the harmonious and enduring chords of peace.
However, as opposed to common believe that it is the girl child who needs help, the plight of the boy child is in jeopardy as more intervention emphasis is being stressed on the girl and women issues.
According to a report by the National Gender and Equality Commission (2011), the perception that the boy child is being excluded in the gender equality is valid while the patriarchy society places a high premium on the boy child, over-focus on the girl child through selective programmes and interventions was pushing the boy to lose confidence and development. It is a conflict that has seen more number of boys get locked in prison cells, turn school dropouts and rise in unemployment rates, as compared to the girl child.
Evelyn says there should be equal if not more focus on the boy child who has been neglected and whose plight requires urgent intervention.
“The truth is when it comes to mediation issues, the research our team has is that men are suffering quietly out there. Very few, if any men will come out or even go to court and say they are suffering marital problems. This is one reason why mediation is key as it is a friendly process that calls for voices to speak out without fear of victimization and mostly so in privacy so as to get some of these conflict matters sorted without raising eyebrows,” says Evelyn.