Why Nairobi men fear marrying women from Kabete

Since time immemorial, men from Central Kenya have been warned by their folks against marrying women from Kabete. The warnings, some from aunties, are given as early as when the boys are hardly taller than their mothers' knee height. Women from Kabete, who are famously known as 'Aka a Kabete' and famed as 22-carat beauties, are believed to be, among other things, husband killers.

Kabete, most Kenyans have been told, has the highest concentration of widows per square kilometre in Central Kenya. Besides killing their hubbies, Kabete women are also considered aggressive go-getters who brook no nonsense. So ingrained is this stereotype that men from Central Kenya believe marrying a Kabete woman will not get them any blessings from their folks.

Slaughter house

Very few aunties and uncles would be willing to make the journey from Gikororo around Karatina for dowry negotiations in King'eero, Kabete.
Even the name, King'eero, translates to 'slaughter house'. Or a place for slitting throats! Is this stereotype of the Kabete woman as a ruthless husband killer true?

Elias Ndung'u is a city graphic designer. When he moved out of his parents' house and rented a pad in Kabete, his grandmother advised him, "My grandson, you are now a man, and I have to tell you, although you will live in Kabete, don't marry a Kabete woman. Don't even date one."

His grandmother didn't tell Elias what would happen if he indeed married a Kabete woman.

"I am not even ready to marry one. All my friends were advised against Kabete women by their parents or relatives," says Ndungu. Late last month, a business tycoon was killed in Kabete.

His wife, who was later released from police custody, was said to have conspired with her relatives in the hacking of the man to pieces before throwing his body on the road.

Single mothers or widows

Although statistics are hard to come by, a casual observation in the villages around Kabete paints a disturbing picture.

Most of the households are headed by single mothers or widows. "It's true, many houses here have widows whose husbands died suspiciously," says a musician, born and bred in Kabete. He adds that most of the men also flee King'eero because of domestic abuse.

"Go to every house in King'eero, apart from the families that are renting houses here, all the homes have no men. It's women only. And most are widows," claims the artiste.

Kinge'ero is said to be the most affected area in Kabete.

Mysterious deaths

Maendeleo ya Wanaume Chairman Nderitu Njoka explains that the fear of Kabete women is part of Kikuyu folklore for boys.

"Men from there die very young when they are in their mid-30s or 40s, when they are in their prime. They die under unclear circumstances," adds Njoka.

He says Maendeleo ya Wanaume cannot advise any man against marrying a woman from Kabete because there are still "a few good women there."

"If you are a married man, above 40, and successful and you are alive, count yourself lucky. But watch out because a woman is after you. They will eliminate you," says Njoka.

Speaking to The Nairobian, Bernard Mbugua, a resident of Kabete claims the women from that area are hardworking. Though most of them are single due to early marriages he says that bringing up children highhandedly is a challenge to most of them.

"These mysterious deaths are not investigated well, and so the cause of death is never really identified, "explained chief Mbugua, "it is when we attend burials and see the widows, some in high spirits and with the strength to sing and even read eulogies, that a lot of questions start being asked."

Lucky escape

Some men escape though

Peter Kimaninever didn't expect the mother of his three children to plot his death. "She (wife) paid some men to attack and kill me outside my gate at around 10pm as I got home from work."

Kimani's sister-in-law learnt of the plan and invited him to her house that evening. He escaped death. Martin Irungu, 96, from Gakindori Village in Kabete argues that although his age mates died from alcoholism and chronic diseases, a high percentage also died under unclear circumstances.