I can feel them all looking at me in disgust, as if I am the monster that had farted earlier on, the horrid smell making the queue break as people, their nostrils and lungs brutally violated by the fetid, reeking fumes from a rotten bowel, scrambled to safety, desperately gasping for some non-polluted air. There had been untold confusion, while people, petrified, spoke in different languages to express their shock and revulsion towards such a transgression. It wasn't me. But now I look like a strong suspect.

The door slowly swung open, and the groom staggered with sleep and confusion, almost tripping on the long curtain hanging at the door. His custom-made tuxedo was just a pair of checked boxer shorts. He had a dry line of drool running from the corner of his mouth, halfway through his cheek.

I wanted to use my hand(s) to fan away the repugnant smell of gaseous excrement from my face, but one of my arms was being mangled between the bosoms of two fat women while the other arm was wedged against someone’s buttocks.

But something was wrong. Because the boy had flung himself down and bawled like a professional mourner, arms flailing, fists trembling, body rolling, screaming that he did not want the bread, shaking his head in disapproval. He did not want to see those slices of bread any more.

The chicken’s broth was delicious. And our nights were peaceful once again.

Someone will pour dirty water that has traces of spaghetti, sukuma wiki and ugali on your doorstep, soaking your slippers and 'jiko'.

Recently, a child looked at my face keenly for several moments and asked me why I have little wounds on my face.

DJ, just let the damn music play

Utterly unprovoked, she immediately puffed up, became one size bigger, and started charging towards me, clucking dangerously. Since I was unprepared for an avian attack, I panicked a little as I frantically deliberated within myself whether to flee, or stand up for myself and fight my blood-thirsty assailant.

I have engaged in a few acts of kindness. Let me put it out there on the internet for the universe to behold because, sweet mercy, what is the point of acts of kindness if you are not going to parade them all over?

No other sufuria can cook ugali as expertly as that one sufuria that has been cooking ugali for years,

I was tipsy. I was high. I was also feeling hungry. Against my better judgement,