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Demystifying female speak and related jargon

Last week WeMen delved into the lies that women tell men and it appears that the notion that men are the bigger liars in a relationship is just about to be put to rest. This debate has been going on for ages. And locally, singer Wahu spiced it up with her hit song You Are a Liar. Of course, some male musician stood up for us and hit back with yet another hit single Kinyaunyau.

The debate has gone a gear higher out of last week’s piece. Frao and his Pirates of Nairobi West have shared more stuff. Here are more lies as told by a woman near you.

I’m Not Jealous

Many women will pretend they are not upset if they catch their man checking out another woman. Or flicking through a dirty magazine, but the reality is often quite different.

According some men, women lie because we don’t want to seem uncool, clingy or generally jealous and insecure. Usually the outlet for this is doing the same in return and trying to make him feel jealous too!

I’m Fine

When I enquired why women liberally misuse the phrase ‘I’m fine’, this was what I was told. When a man asks what is wrong, it feels natural to respond with, “I’m fine.” Of course, fine never actually means what the dictionary claims it means.

Either you are too tired to explain yourself, or you want him to figure it out himself. Why should you spell everything out for him? After all, he should know why you’re angry.

I’m Not Mad at all

One of my female pals Stella days that women strategically lie to conceal their intentions.  Most women tell this lie in order to avoid a fight, but your face might give you away. If it’s clear that you’re angry, then it’s pointless to pretend that you’re not. Of course, when you are angry, the sensible thing isn’t always the easiest.

I Have a Headache

Perhaps the lie that ‘hurt’ women most is the headache lie; it is such a headache for men.  But Stella as usual has attempted to defend the women folk. She argues that after a long day, you just want to go to sleep.

“You love your man, but you are not always in the mood to please him. You can’t just turn him down without a reason, so you say that you are tired or have a headache. He knows that it’s a lie, but hey, it works.” Ouch!

Looks Don’t Matter to Me

Stella says that women are also economical with the truth when it comes to many a man’s looks department. She argues, “You value personality over looks, but that doesn’t mean that appearances mean nothing to you. You are human, so you are going to be a bit superficial. There’s nothing wrong with admiring the hot men at your gym, as long as you remember that their brains are more important than their muscles.”

Wow! That Was Incredible

Nearly every woman has told a lie about her bedroom experience, be it ‘faking it’, the old ‘size doesn’t matter’ or pretending not to be upset if a man suffers from a bit of ‘running low on gas’. According to Frao, nowadays you cannot really tell your true performance from the mournings and the short breaths. Sometimes it is all choreographed like a smooth-running Subaru engine!