Nairobi-based counselling psychologist Benjamin Zulu has warned those in the dating pool to steer clear of narcissists, who will only end up hurting them.
Narcissists, Zulu says, can be identified through signs many people often overlook, like persistent lying.
“Rest assured that when you're in a relationship with a narcissist there's always another whole secret life going on behind your back. They have such a gnawing emptiness and disturbance within them that they must do forbidden things to feel okay. They will have affairs, swindle people of money, use drugs,” Zulu wrote on his official Facebook page.
The psychologist further described narcissists as “disordered people who are not satisfied by normal things that satisfy normal people like a happy relationship or a committed partner”.
The relationship expert added that such a person will make you constantly work hard to keep the union together just to exploit and frustrate you.
“You're not the problem and you cannot fix them...Save yourself,” Zulu concluded.
And the psychologist is not alone in sounding red flags on such qualities.
California-based health website Healthline reports that narcissism is not as simple as being a little too full of oneself- it is a disorder called the narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
“It’s a mental health condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, lack of empathy for others and often having troubled relationships,” Healthline notes in it’s study.
Healthline adds that it boils down to selfishness at the (usually extreme) expense of others, plus the inability to consider other’s feelings at all.
The report notes that signs of narcissism early in a relationship include being a little too charming at first, monopolizing the conversation to constantly talk about oneself, lacking empathy and lacking many long term friends.
“There is no debating or compromising with a narcissist, because they are always right. They won’t necessarily see a disagreement as a disagreement. They’ll just see it as them teaching you some truth.”
