This is for women in a relationship with married men. You can date them, chop their money and hypnotise them with the sexual skills imparted to you by Jezebel herself.

But....... Do not think about having a child with him. That is how you get a one-way ticket to a living hell. Do not be too greedy and attempt to use an innocent baby to milk/extort money from a married man.

It doesn’t matter how good you are between the sheets or how much he says he loves you. Once that line is crossed, woman, you are on your own. 

Get pregnant with that married man and you will be the slut, while he will be the innocent man; as if the devil dropped a banana peel on his path and he slipped right into your uterus. 

The second big mistake you can make is informing the wife about the pregnancy or the love child, especially if the man is proving to be deadbeat. What really do you hope to achieve? Break that family? Pfft! That will never happen.

Will you cause tension in their home? Absolutely! But from what we have seen in most Kenyan families, infidelity is highly forgivable.

In fact, telling his wife would only serve to drive the man further from you. You want to score one past the owner of the ball, and don’t expect her to take her ball from you? Once that couple puts a unified front, you are done. Good luck concealing that smelly egg on your face.

If indeed the man does accept responsibility, you’d wish you were alone because you will be a single mother trapped in an illusion of marriage.

At the labour ward, you will be on your own; hell it would even be a chore to put his name on the birth certificate. He cannot leave his wife’s bed at night because you are in hospital having his baby. Your child’s birth story won’t be told with pride like those of the children he bore with his wife.

Neither would your child’s name ever come up on his list of kids; you are simply bringing your child in a life of shame and bias.

He will never acknowledge his second family in public, neither can your child call him daddy. While his wife drives comfortably in his car, you will be left walking in the hot sun with your child, until the lice eggs on your head crack open like a popcorn party.

And when you get to ride in that car on the rare occasions when he is driving you home after your sexcapades, he will go through that car with a fine comb to remove any speck of evidence that might betray your presence in the ride.

In short, you are a ghost in his world. Your life only matters when the two of you are naked behind closed doors.

Since you have a baby and can no longer walk liberally into hotels with breast milk plastering your blouse to your skin, he would start avoiding your sneaky rendezvous altogether.

He can’t even come over to your house coz with the whole dirty diaper-baby yelling situation going on, you kind of remind him of what he was running away from in the first place.

Suddenly, things completely change and you begin seeing him once a month before he immediately disappears again like a clerical civil servant's salary.

He will provide for you when he feels like and won’t care if you boil sofa cushions for dinner when the meagre upkeep money he sends your way runs out.

You will always be the pathetic beggar at the end of the food chain. After he sends his family for holidays or buys them extravagant things, you will be the recipient of the spare change.

It doesn’t matter how much money he earns, it’s not yours. You can never replace his wife in this life or the next.

Your portions will never be equal. You do not know where they came from; do not know how they got to where they are;  you do not know the sleepless nights they put in or if they sacrificed a kid or two for wealth.

You probably wouldn’t have looked at him twice when he started out with his wife, but now that he has everything, you think you are just going to swoop in and change his life because you popped out his baby? Bitch, please!

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