Society has no respect for men who are ‘sat on’ by their wives.
Signs of mwanaume kukaliwa include, among others, the man reporting home at the same time as the neighbour’s chicken.
Antony Mwangi, a parastatal engineer, has been married for four years, but is yet to report to his Rongai home past his wife’s 9pm ‘curfew time.’
The father of two explains that, “I actually don’t know what she will do should I get home late. I just don’t want to make her angry. It’s not like she lords over me, it’s only that I like making her happy,” explains Mwangi.
Kukaliwa by your wife may have different meanings. But these are probably the simplest indicators:
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1. Carrying handbags, taking, waiting and picking her from the salon
2. Tabling your entire salary for her to gawa
3. Coming home early, accounting for every second (and friends) 24/7
4. Being forced to post mushy love messages and pictures on social media
5. Putting up newspaper adverts (or calling press conferences) and car banners with her photo declaring your undying love
6. Taking her everywhere (including the green grocer’s), changing diapers, doing household chores.
7. Being sent to buy sanitary pads, washing her ngothas
8. Funding and hosting her relatives while yours wamebaki kwa mataa
9. Building a house or living where she wants in Banana, Muchatha, Gachie, Wangige Wanyee or Kinoo
10. Being beaten, sleeping on the sofa or nje kama lorry
