Mother and son fight over pit latrine cash

By MURIMI MWANGI

A man from a Kathaka Village in Kirinyaga Central was incensed when his mum refused to give him ‘something small’ for helping her retrieve Sh5,000 that she had accidentally dropped into a pit latrine.

On the material day, the woman — a renowned miser — fearing that one of her grandchildren would pinch her money as she visited the latrine so she tied her money in a corner of her leso in a tight knot.

However, as she was preoccupied with handling her manifest business of visiting the loo, her leso, together with money, accidentally fell in the latrine.

TIGHT-FISTED

As her son passed by her house, she told him, “Ndiui kana niukundutira tubeca twakwa twagua kioro mubiciwa (will you retrieve some money I have dropped in the latrine my son)?”

Knowing how tight-fisted his mother was, he inquired how much commission he would receive for the task, but the old woman refused to commit herself and simply told him they ‘would talk’ once he retrieved the money. Her son accepted but requested for Sh500 for the ‘dirty job’. With such a sum of money, he reasoned, he could pay some of his debts, including the beer he had taken on credit, forcing him to play cat and mouse with the barmaid to his local, and comfortably drink himself silly.

 As he slid down the widened latrine hole with a rope like a military paratrooper, his focus was not on the dirty job ahead but of the hefty reward. Unfortunately, when the money was safely out of the filthy dungeon and cleaned, trouble began.

First, he demanded his commission before handing over the money. But an argument ensued, with his mum insisting that Sh500 was ‘too much’. He would hear none of it and started threatening to dump the money back into the latrine!

“Niki urangua ta kihii matha? Niukwenda ndiciicokie kioro? (why are you treating me like a small boy, mother? Do you want me to dump the money back into the latrine?” he asked angrily.

In response, the mother threatened him with witchcraft!

“You will look for me long after I am dead, but I will be long gone!” she fumed.

The slur is said to have taken him aback since his mother is particularly feared in the area for being a witch, and this being Africa where black magic is dreaded more than grenade attacks, he merely grumbled and walked away.

To extinguish his burning anger, however, the man disappeared and showed up later, tipsy and charged. Apparently, the muratina he had taken gave him courage and upon his return, he stormed his mother’s hut that evening to demand for ‘his’ money.

When she claimed she had already spent all the cash, her enraged son responded by grabbing her squealing cockerel, which, it is said, he sold at the local market. As a result, the relationship between mother and son has gone sour and the young man has, in fact, been declared persona non grata in her compound.