By Ted Malanda

The son of Moi used to say, “Kama mbaya, mbaya (if you want a fight, bring it on).” And he meant it.

When Ugandan leader Yoweri Museveni started getting rather belligerent, rumour has it that Kenya Army personnel camouflaged in police uniform crossed the border and did boom boom. A few days later, the two leaders held a tense meeting on a bridge along the border, each with stern-faced bodyguards with fingers on the trigger. End of story.

When Muammar Gaddafi, then Libyan strongman, started undermining Nairobi by associating with renegades who wanted to overthrow the government, Moi shut down his embassy, flung the ambassador out and recalled our man in Tripoli.

Gaddafi only crept back, scandalously too, when the old chief was watching over his cows at Kabarak in retirement.

Ambushed

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You might also recall a moment that remains the proudest in living memory for many Kenyans. When a band of brigands from Somalia ambushed a Kenya army platoon on our side of the border and stole off with their trucks, uniforms and guns, Kenyans hissed with rage.

The next morning, Mr Moi casually announced that he had given the hooligans 24 hours to return everything. What he didn’t let on is that Kenyan braves were already across the border and that our fighter jets had broken the sound barrier over Somali’s airspace. The militia fell over themselves bringing our stuff back.

Lapses

A little earlier, Kenyan soldiers on a UN peace mission in Sierra Leone were killed in what amounted to lapses in command. President Moi ordered General Daudi Tonje, then Chief of Staff, to fly over with one message: Our boys were coming home unless the UN sent the inept peacekeeping mission’s commander packing. He was not just sent home but his place was taken by a son of the soil, the peerless Lt General Daniel Opande. 

Fear

That’s why I look around, see the rubbish going on and laugh hysterically. County reps have gone mad. Governors have gone mad. MPs are barking all over the place, saying what they want, ‘anyhowly’. Knut leaders fume that no one has the powers stop their salary — not even the president, and have defied a court order to show who is boss.

Even lowly police officers have the temerity to sue the Inspector General when they are transferred from lucrative posts. Meanwhile, Ugandan cops have taken to beating our policemen in Migingo, our own fishy island, whenever they feel like.

Don’t you just miss Daniel Arap Moi? He would have casually said something on a roadside in Kitui and all those making belligerent noises would have crawled back into the woodwork shivering with fear.

As the old chief himself used to say, “Moi ni kali!”