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Some faces were not made for apologies. And no matter what the gigantic ex-convict Gilbert Masengeli, whose features are wide enough to fit two faces, said in court, believing that he was remorseful would take hours of convincing.
Knowing his shortcomings, he let his lawyers do much of the grovelling. They pleaded mercy for a man who could do just fine without it; a man who, a few shades darker, would send conspiracy theorists wild with claims that Idi Amin Dada was still alive.
More fearfully than wonderfully made, the Deputy Inspector General of Police is the stuff of nightmares. He could well be the bogeyman whose name was enough to deter wayward behaviour among children.
In the short period he has been infamous, many a dinner table must have featured threats like, “Kula ama nikuitie Masengeli!”
What child would dare call their parent’s bluff? The name itself, Masengeli, delivered in a threatening tone, is enough to send shivers down anyone’s spine.
It made little sense that the lawyers would be begging for mercy when they could have warned of consequences if Masengeli’s conviction had not been set aside.
“Mwachilie ama akupige heady!” could have been enough. No sane judge would want the giant’s muscular face bumping his.
Watching Masengeli in court on Friday, inmates must have wetted their pants fearing that he would be joining them. Even the fabled Onyi, the ‘first body’ across all prisons, immortalised in Jimwat’s ‘Sitoi Kitu Kidogo’, shuddered at the thought of meeting the dreadful Goliath.
But the inmates were in luck as Masengeli was not keen on terrorising them behind bars as he had done on the outside. He had initially seemed eager to when he ignored court summonses seven times, earning a six-month jail sentence.
He was more interested in going back to “protecting the borders”, a job he must earned courtesy of his appearance. You need looks like Masengeli’s if you are to convince al-Shabaab militants that you could quash them.
But size doesn’t always matter. At least not to Justice Lawrence Mugambi and the practitioners of “good English”, who approached the court seeking Masengeli’s arrest. In fact, it was they who gave the colossus sleepless nights.
Seven times they had sought Masengeli’s audience over the abduction of three Kenyans, seven times he had chickened out. And the senior officer would fearfully act as though Justice Mugambi had issued a restraining order, disappearing into the country’s far-flung areas, as far as possible from the courts.
Too afraid to bump into Mugambi, Masengeli, as the world came to learn, would call the judge’s bodyguards to find out his whereabouts. The height of his cowardice was when he withdrew Mugambi’s security detail, a move that reeked of an attempt at intimidation.
Such tactics don’t work against one who believes the Constitution is all the protection they need. Masengeli learnt that the hard way and had to yield. Towering above everyone else, the man from the land of Mulembe, famed for their love of ugali, would sample a different delicacy - the humble pie.
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“I apologise to the court for the events that have transpired leading to the orders of this court. My Lord, I respect you for the good work that you do to uphold the rule of law. As a police officer, I must enforce court orders and ensure they are obeyed. I am deeply sorry,” Masengeli, brandishing a smirk that he wore for much of the day, repented.
Hours before he was forced into the dock, the new Inspector General of Police Douglas Kanja had said that the Kitengela three - Bob Njagi, Jamil Longton and Aslam Longton, who would be dumped in the bush in the wee hours of Friday morning - were not in their custody.
Perhaps Masengeli had figured that only he would bear the consequences of his defiance and graced the High Court with his presence.
Before he was defying court orders, Masengeli was largely unknown. The career police officer was sworn into office at the Supreme Court last month. He never imagined the next oath he would be taking would be in the dock.
Masengeli would later take over as the acting head of the police service at a time the nationwide youth protests were just dying down, which denied him the chance to intimidate the brave Kenyans with his muscular face.