How to avoid conflict during this season of heated political debate

In political debates, I have found that most people agree that the election is too far away for firm positions to be taken. [Courtesy]

It is the season of roast meat, drinks and endless chapati.

It is also the season of heated political debate courtesy of the early campaigns, where we have a defiant deputy president up against an eternally hopeful former prime minister going for the presidency a fifth time.

Kenyans are good at Political Hobbyism, a term invented by Eitan Hersh, a political scientist at Tufts University in the United States, to describe the phenomenon where people follow politics as a form of entertainment and expression of self-identity.

We passively participate in politics like we do in the English Premier League, where we have no actual skin in the game but will experience the highs and suffer the lows from the comfort of our sofas, or bar stools, with no intention whatsoever of getting our hands dirty.

It, therefore, follows that with all the idle time we have on our hands as we take a break from work and enjoy the festivities, you’ll find many of us gathered around evening fires or tables in clubs discussing politics.

I got thinking about this recently when at a party and a debate ensued about the country’s choices for the presidency in August 2022. Naturally, the debate got heated and those who take their views more strongly than others got emotional. I hadn’t grasped the magnitude of the emotions generated until I ran into one of the debaters later and he said, pain in his voice, “John, you know those guys are serious about electing (name redacted)? Hao watu hawajui huyo mtu.”

At another event, I had to calm down a disappointed Jubilee supporter when I told him he was ‘disillusioned’ and he thought I had described him as ‘delusional’. I was describing his statement but he misheard and was under the impression that I thought of him as being outside the realm of reality and rational argument.

With the time on our hands and the politicians in our faces every day, debates are inevitable and disagreements common but the conflicts that may arise are not necessary.

Michael Yeomans, an assistant professor of organisational behaviour at Imperial College Business School in London, says that we can learn to argue better.

He proposes three key features of productive disagreement.

The first is to acknowledge, where you make it clear that the person you are arguing with is heard and understood. In our context, it’s important to understand where your fellow political hobbyist is coming from.

In 2017, I watched in horror at a social scene as a man was called unprintables by a woman who was then a staunch supporter of UhuRuto. When the aggressive person left, we sought to understand why the man, who we would have expected to naturally support the then Dynamic Duo, had chosen the other side. He was a supplier to the government who had not been paid in ages and was frustrated and angry and it was only natural that he wouldn’t like those he deemed responsible for his suffering.

Second, Yeomans advises hedging, where you avoid speaking in absolutes and soften your language with words like ‘perhaps’, ‘maybe’ or ‘probably’. In our Kenyan case, the elections are a whole eight months away, it is clear the politicians are still sizing each other up as they consider the alliances that will enable them clinch the (mostly tribal) arithmetic. There’s lots of opportunities for hedging.

Hedging leads us to the next technique Yeomans recommends, which is to find common ground, of which there is plenty for Kenyans.

We all need reliable and accessible healthcare, good smooth roads and the economic environment conducive for the generation of wealth whether at individual or institutional level. Business leaders worry when there is so much political activity that people choose to close their shops because of the risk that violent demonstrators might rob them. They also worry when political activity paralyses transport, as this means that people will stay home, be wary of spending and hold on to their money until the environment is right.

In political debates, I have found that most people agree that the election is too far away for firm positions to be taken.

As Yeomans says, “Humans have so much in common, but those things we agree on can be hard to notice when we are focused on the things we don’t agree on.”

I once had the misfortune of having dinner sandwiched between a Republican and a Democrat. They argued the whole evening, ruining the dinner in the process, and it was clear that they would never agree.

You are likely to land in a similar situation this festive season, sandwiched between supporters of two candidates and wondering when and whether it will ever stop and allow you to catch up on other more pressing things.

If you are not interested or in the mood to talk politics, it could be much easier to tell the person that you are more comfortable discussing something else. They might be so surprised that they will leave you alone.