Crazy but fulfilling: Motherhood and working from home

Kavata Kiaro, Founder at Owthen, a financial literacy hub for teens and children. [Courtesy]

On this Mother’s Day, we speak to four women about what their experience working from home with young children has been like.

Kavata Kiaro, Founder at Owthen, a financial literacy hub for teens and children.

Mother of one: A one-and-8-months old baby girl.

When covid hit in March, my baby was about 6 months old. At that point I would say it was a blessing because it meant that my husband and I would spend more time with her at home - my husband and I. 

The experience of being at home is that the lines are blurred, which can feel like you’re always working. 

The joys have been having her knowing we are here, and for me, seeing her milestones. The biggest challenge has been finding the balance between wanting to be everything for her and there for her all the time, while also working. 

Sometimes I feel a little bit of mom guilt, where it feels like even though I am home, I am not giving her the attention that she requires. That has made me become more intentional about being with her, so that even if we have help, I will feed her, I will take her outside - taking intentional breaks so that I can spend some time with her.  

The business is young, so it is like another baby in the sense that it needs you a lot. That has been a challenge, but realizing what needs to be done, finding that balance - being able to know when to take breaks, when to shut down the computer so that you don’t also give yourself unnecessary pressure has helped.

I have really come to appreciate the importance of having good support systems - for me it’s my husband and my nanny. It makes life easier. If as a mother you are feeling overwhelmed, you can ask for a minute to breathe. It’s okay to get help. 

I am one of those people who want to do everything but I have come to appreciate that it’s okay to delegate. Don’t feel the need to do everything. If someone else can do it for you, graciously accept it. It is not a weakness. It doesn’t mean you are not the mother or the woman in the house. Get the wisdom of knowing that it is okay to delegate and to empower those around you. Let them do things so that even if they don’t do it the way you would do it or want it done - the more they do it, the better they become.

And God above all helps me. He gives me grace. To other mothers, there is grace for what you have been tasked to do. You will look back and wonder how you did it, but somehow God gives you the strength to do what needs to be done for that season. 

Elaine Wanja, HR Business Partner for Ogilvy

Mother of two: A four-month-old and a three-year-old

Elaine Wanja, HR Business Partner for Ogilvy [Courtesy]

I got my second born during the pandemic. Luckily I was home for the duration of the pregnancy, so I felt safe because I wasn’t going out in public. 

I thought I would be working strictly 8 to 5 but that doesn’t happen most of the time. It’s hard to stop yourself because you know you don’t have to plan to commute to and fro, so if you are not self-disciplined you can keep going on and on.

But I enjoy working from home, especially because of the pregnancy at first when I didn’t have to wake up early. Also, even if I work past the normal working hours, there is still time to balance it all out.

Some of the challenges are that as a mother, sometimes you can be in a meeting and your child is out there crying and there is nothing you can do. There are also the usual distractions like sometimes the older one would just come to the door knocking and shouting, “Mummy mummy!” Or maybe the househelp wants to pick up something, she doesn’t know I’m in a meeting and just walks in. 

What I did was that I had to be strict with my nanny and ensure they have a routine. Especially during my busy hours, I would tell them to go for a walk, go meet other kids and so forth. This year I have taken the older one to school so I am able to concentrate more and I am able to balance everything. He was already of school-going age but had delayed joining school when covid came, through he only goes from 8 am to 1 pm.

Even if it is really busy, I have come to appreciate spending time with my babies. While going to the office, because it is usually so early they are asleep, but now every day at least I am able to say good morning to them. I have also dedicated some hours to them.

What has really made me happy is being able to say good morning now. At least I am able to see them every morning and I have been able to see my son’s milestones - like now, he is learning to write, colour and all that. 

Motherhood is something that I always admired with my mother and my sisters, but now that I am in that place myself, I think mothers are the most important people and they need to be appreciated more. 

Meg Adhiambo, Global Culture Change Lead at Oxfam

Mother of two, aged 2 and 6 years

Meg Adhiambo, Global Culture Change Lead at Oxfam [Courtesy]

It has been a good experience. At first, it was different, in terms of the fact that you had to take care of everything else at the same time being at home. It’s the same place you work in, work out in, express yourself - it was weird at first and it was hard to get everyone into that system of understanding that you are actually working from home, not that you are on vacation. Just getting people in the house to understand that took a while, especially my kids. They would barge into meetings, interrupt me because most of our meetings were online, and we would just end up saying hi to everyone in the meeting! That was especially in the beginning where everyone was still trying to figure out how to work from home due to covid. They eventually got used to it and now give me space to work. 

It’s interesting because at first you would think that you have time to juggle everything but you actually end up working more hours because you find yourself working through lunch, past your work hours or starting early, so there are many things to cover. 

But so far, it has been nice. We get to eat lunch together, play in between meetings and I instruct them on homework, I get to chat with my nanny during the day as well for her own mental wellness, so it has been great!

To adjust, I had to look for a dedicated space to be an office in the house, in addition to just informing my children that I’m actually going to work, I have a meeting - for instance, they would see me at lunch and I would tell them I have a meeting and I have to go, they can’t quite use the bandwidth to watch Youtube Kids because I have a meeting - so they are more considerate because they know I am working. They know they can watch GoTV instead because you don’t need bandwidth for that. They have adjusted to the fact that I am actually working and not just sitting in a room talking to people on a laptop just for fun. 

I have come to appreciate them growing up before my eyes because before that we would work long hours in the office or have longer times travelling to work. So that time that I used to use for that, I get to interact with my children, know what they’re actually watching at home, how they are growing as individuals - how are their manners? What are they saying? How do they talk to other people? As a working mom, a lot of that is usually delegated to your nanny and then you get your kids over the weekend or when you are lucky enough to get home early, but now I get to see how they are growing and how they think.

I also got to see my little one starting to speak while I was at home, so it has been very nice just seeing the growth aspect for both of them. It has been very fulfilling to see that and it creates a bond because they know I am available.

I’ve visited a home that has teen mums and my message to them is that it gets better. Also to new mums who are having babies for the first time and you can’t quite get to sleep, it gets better.

Njambi Oduor, founder of Cakeyard.KE

Mother of a one: A 6-month-old baby girl.

Njambi Oduor, founder of Cakeyard.KE [Courtesy]

I had her in November. It’s crazy working with a newborn from home! I keep asking myself why I used to feel tired before the baby because right now it’s a whole different ball game - she wants attention, she can be crying when I have pressing orders, so it can get really crazy. 

With that, you just have to learn to manage things. Sometimes you are pressed for time and an order needs to leave. In that instance I just need to take a breath, feed her, maybe calm her and then I go back to work. 

One of the major challenges currently is the fact that I don’t even have a househelp. Thankfully, my husband also works from home, so we take turns being with the baby. I also have a calm baby so it makes work easier. But still, not having a third person to help can be tough. With baking, my sink is always getting dirty. I love baking and cooking but if I could get someone to relieve me with dishes it would be perfect.

Another challenge comes when my husband has stepped out for a meeting or something and now it’s just me and the baby, and I need to bake for a client. Sometimes I let the baby cry for a while and I feel so guilty. This period, working while having a baby, has shown me how much motherhood is a labour of love because I am working to provide for her but I feel so guilty sometimes when I can’t be with her because I have to work. 

Sometimes I have to wake up very early before she is awake and with baking sometimes the mixer is a bit loud so I may have to do some of those things when she is up and my husband can handle her. 

I have had to adjust my times because for instance if I turn on the mixer while she is asleep, she will wake up. So sometimes I have to do all those things whenever she is up, as exhausted as I may be so that I am able to decorate the cakes quietly later while she is asleep. Many times, I just have to wake up in the middle of the night so that I can continue to work and the cakes can leave in the morning. 

I also can’t take as many orders as I used to because she is a factor in my day now.

I’m now considering having a house help because I will have help with many other things including the baby which means I can get in more orders, and as time goes by I can have one more person to be helping with the baking. 

What I appreciate about working from home is the fact that I am my baby’s primary caregiver. She sees me a lot. My baby has gotten to have me fully and I get to know her very well. The fact that I get to experience every small milestone and I am still able to work is priceless to me. 

Experiencing motherhood has shown me what sacrifices mothers make and also for me it has helped me really appreciate my mom and mother in law. I think mothers are superwomen.