Pain of watching bad funeral rites is severe than grieving the dead

Last week was not a good one for Kenya as we said goodbye to one of Kenya’s leading business icons - Bob Collymore. It was heartwarming to see the outpouring of grief and the glowing tributes from Kenyans from all walks of life. Bob prepared for his send-off providing explicit instructions on responsibilities, timings, speakers, music and even photography. This had me thinking about funeral and burial services in this part of our world. Maybe it is fusion of our culture and grief, but sometimes our services can leave the grieving feeling aggrieved not consoled. As Michael Joseph once said, we are peculiar country and I think this is most visible at our funerals.

Let us start with the clergy who sometimes make the process of holding a funeral service pure hell-as if death is not hell enough. Some clergy men and women see the grieving process to flex some muscle. In some cases, some dare not come close to any burial rites till they have photographic and paper evidence that the deceased was a man or woman of God. Sometimes those requests are outrageous and downright ridiculous - what good is it asking for the baptism card of an octogenarian before proceeding with any sendoff rites.