I cook in high heels...And other peculiarities

They say necessity is the mother of invention, and I believe this includes coming up with ways of getting stuff done using things that others already invented. For instance, as the second shortest person in our house (although not for much longer if the rate at which our youngest is growing is anything to go by), I realised some time ago that I had to find a way to elevate myself when cooking or doing the dishes because our kitchen counters are so high. I settled on wearing high heels and found that this worked perfectly.

At first everyone in the family would laugh as I paired my track pants and t-shirt with a pair of wedge heels just so I could chop onions and tomatoes or do a good job with the ugali. But over time they got used to it and now, whenever I ask one of our young ones to fetch my heels as I head to the kitchen, no one pays any attention. Of course if a neighbour or one of my siblings should drop by while I’m in the kitchen then I might need to explain the odd-looking outfit.

When it comes to the way car engines work, let me confess that I know very little. For instance, once I pull the lever near my feet to open the bonnet, I am not sure what it is that people pull or press to release the catch to get it to open all the way. And once it is open, I only know what the battery and wiper water container look like. I have no idea where the oil stick goes or where anything else is for that matter.

The mechanic hack

But I have found a way to make it look as if I am knowledgeable. When I get to the fuel station, I will sometimes get out of the car and stand over the attendant’s shoulder to make it appear as if we are both concerned about the same thing. Occasionally I will ask a question concerning the few parts I do know just so they don’t realise how clueless I am.

When I am fuelling the car, I like to watch the tank to make sure I get what I am paying for. Sometimes because of the way I am parked I can’t quite see the tank, but I turn my neck anyway – I reckon the attendant does not know that I can’t see and as far as I am concerned, this works.

As for changing flat tyres, you might as well tell me to write a song in Mandarin!  Thus far, the good Lord has truly favoured me because I cannot remember ever being stranded on my own because the car had a puncture, not even back when changing a tyre required at least 15 minutes. Whenever the car had a flat, there would either someone with me who knew what to do or it would happen overnight and there would be someone to change it before I left home in the morning.

I am truly grateful for whoever came up with the idea of tubeless tyres because it reduced the changing time by quite a bit. Then came the historic day when I drove into a fuel station with what I thought was low pressure in one tyre and the attendant declared that it was actually a puncture. As I looked around for a place to park, he hurried over to apply the ingenious soapy water method and announced that there were not one but two holes. Sigh… until he told me to move forward just a bit, and in five minutes he had fixed my tyre, with me still sitting in the car!

The hubby did not believe me when I got home and told him tyre technology had advanced to the point where you did not have to even switch off the car to have your tyre fixed. So when he witnessed it for himself a few weeks later, I couldn’t help but smile rather smugly because I knew something he didn’t. I am still working on a way to ensure that no dodgy attendant adds holes in my tyres while fixing them – when I find it you’ll be the first to know!