Dear university girl, here is a list of boys you should never fall for

No girl studying for a degree course, not even under the influence of witchcraft or ovulation, should flirt with, kiss, text back (unless it’s strictly classwork) or hang around a male campus MC, DJ, dancer, musician/music producer, photographer or model for more than two minutes.

That’s unless she wants to be eaten kimandazi, cheated on, have her heart broken or her womb filled with a baby whose daddy is a sharp idiot who is only capable of reasoning through that thing between his legs.

These fellows appear chic and suave, even moneyed. They stand at a higher rung on the campus life ladder, owning an amount of influence in university affairs but they are a threat to a young girl’s education, happiness, emotional and physical health.

A model pal of mine, we’ll name him Mark, has since our days in first year broken the hearts of more than 15 girls. I’ve witnessed as he snaked his cunning self into the pants of chicks smitten by his trendy (borrowed) suits and coastal charm, only to be forgotten once he’d eaten their fruits.

And intriguing enough, chicks kept going back for a tasty test of his spear which in most times left them ‘bleeding’ and hurt. Of all men, a model? A man who just catwalks? Come on girls! You don’t study physics in high school only to fall in love with home science dude in campus. But we cool Mark, you are still a bro.

As a flaw in character, I don’t take seriously any girl whose boyfriend is a dancer. Because I know she’s being cheated on and she’s either drunk in love or too foolish to know that her bae isn’t just dancing in her hall, but many other halls.

Can I be proven wrong? MCs, DJs and photographers are wannabe cool guys. The sort who sip Carlsberg or Heineken while dancers twanga one Guinness the whole night in a club.

They are corny fellows who ride on their hype to get laid. Chicks, as I’ve come to learn, love glamour, something flashy. And you do know all that glitters isn’t gold.

Girls, be women; sensible. If you must spread your legs for any of these fellows, compare their characters and attributes to your dad’s, then go ahead and have fun.